Life's Ups and Downs

Chao Keng

2009-08-11T23:56:00.002+08:00

I'm kinda screwed screwed screwed... Went running with zheng yesterday and couldn't keep up with him. and he told me that the pace he was running was only sufficient for a pass for ippt...

Haiz win already lor... Running so much, yet still deprove.. Think I keng too much while running ah.. hehe... Nvm still can catch up some other time.

Hmm perhaps that's why I never joined any sports when I was younger, cuz I'm just too slack to train hard. ^.^ Of course, kinda regret it a bit now, cuz I guess the glory of youth is being able to push yourself physically. But hmm everything does come with a price I guess. Like look at our local athletes who played in AYG... Sailors lived on their boats, swimmers swim swim swim.. haha they kept training, sacrificing a lot of other things.

Hmmm wonder what I've been doing thus far to at least make it up in other areas...

Restrictions from the family

2009-06-26T14:04:00.003+08:00

Yeah man... just realised that being the family guy is tough. No time to like hang out wif friends. Well my bro is happily doing that, and then scolding me for going to 12th coy camps while missing my grandpa's bday.. wat a hypoc*..

sigh dunno why i'm so angry all of a sudden.. trying to get so much things done at the same time that i have no time for myself.. yeah it's about losing yourself for the sake of God's service.. better to lose the world and save your soul..

but at the rate i'm going, i'm losing the world and losing my soul.. haha i'm the biggest loser..

sheesh so sadistic..

woah you read this???

2009-01-08T20:52:00.002+08:00

woah... some pple actually still read this shabby drap.. haha thx thx

anywayz, i currently doing some relief teaching. phew busy busy...

talk more some other time.. after i revamp my blog..

bye for now =)

Back from Bangkok; Off again

2008-10-08T18:22:00.002+08:00

Sheesh, been running about the pass few days.. in bangkok of course. Just kept shopping and walking and eating.

Think complimentary hotel breakfast buffet is really a spoiler to visiting the country. Cuz I keep eating a hell lot for breakfast (since its a buffet) and then dun feel like eating for lunch. Miss out on all the great Thai food. Gosh love their sour and spicy stuff. Pity that their portions can be a bit small.

You know, gotta thank God that we were safe. There were like protests yesterday at the Parliament when we were still there, but well, we were busy watching eagle eye and running about having our last dose of steamed bread with coconut custard before leaving. The parliament is indeed some distance away from the pathum wan area. and yeah, life goes on as per normal here. We heard absolutely nothing about any protests whatsoever.

Ignorance is bliss, I guess.

Anyway, onto taiwan we go...

Uncertainties.. Makes me very jumpy

2008-09-29T18:07:00.003+08:00

Aiya... hate these uncertainties. Like when you wake up from a good afternoon nap and you see that your hp has a missed call from one of your other superiors who usually is a good archer and just somehow seems to target you only (prob cuz he has your hp number). So you wonder if you should call him back. If you do, then the arrow may be shot. If you don't, you become uncontactable, which may lead to some consequences. Oh well, tried to call my boss back, but he hung up on me, so I guess it ain't impt right now. haha

Then my parents keep pestering me on when I can go overseas with them. Bit hard I say, cuz I don't know if they may schedule me for any last min odd duty or wat... Has happened before, and i don't see why it may not happen again.

Sigh.. Remembered what Pastor Yap told me at cat class yesterday. We're supposed to be warriors in Christ, not worriers. God did say in 1 Peter 5:7 to "Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you." Sheesh worrying so hard unknowingly, and yet there's nothing I can do. Guess my problem is I'm scared of being screwed by upstairs. If I had a little bit of thick skin, then it prob won't be too much of a problem..

Dunno lah... Just very sian and pek chek... haiz.. how many more days left?

Finally.. a hurdle over... now comes the emptiness

2008-09-27T20:55:00.004+08:00

Phew.. finally.. ah-tac is over!!! no more late nights making more stupid maps and blown-ups now. haha now I can really smell ord coming... tasting it soon.

Booked my practical lessons already!! Sadly, its only going to start in nov, cuz well, from now till then, everyday is fully booked. crap sia... so sian.. anyway, i'm going auto, rather than manual. Yeah i know, my friends say that auto is for wimps, and real guys drive manual. But hey, think about it, most cars are auto nowsadays, even taxis are getting auto too. Most cars sold in the market today are auto as well. Furthermore, why do you think lta allowed auto cars to be tested? cuz lots of pple made noise to ask for it, cuz its easier to pass right? so yup, why not take the easy way out? petrol's pretty expensive too you know?

So yup, from now till then, its mainly just rotting around. haha there's suddenly so much 'free time'. Finding ways to spend it wisely... like do a lego piece or sth..

you know, if there's really one thing that i wanna do, its to get close to my yr 2s and know them better. i'm glad that I started out with them at the start of the year and have lasted till now. How i slowly see them grow and mature.. haha just like how i see their seniors mature too.. My hope is that each of them will get to know God more and more, for well, there will come a time when they will slip through my fingers. only God can hold them in His hands. And yeah, I love them too, but God loves them more.

Well, if any of you yr 2s happen to see this post, know that both your officers love you guys very very much and are so so happy to have been part of your lives. It has been a joy to see each of you learn to care for one another, to exhort one another.

ok time to go build my lego helicopter already.. haaa

Uncle is older

2008-09-14T23:45:00.001+08:00

Yeah the first digit in my age is now 2.. gotta wave goodbye to my teenage years and say hello to adulthood..

celeb part (i)

Heh thanks to all those year 2s and 5s who spammed my hp at midnight... haha thanks lots for remembering, even when you guys were busy mugging.. really made my day, so early in the morning.. =) =) =)

celeb part (ii)

met up with gg to go watch wall-e. haha its a really cute show.. i firmly believe that it will become a disney classic, like mary poppins, toy story and the like.. haha think i'll buy the dvd when it comes out and like keep it for my children to watch it.. doubt they will ever get bored of it.

Ok so after that, zheng played a bit of wild goose chase with us at nydc before meeting up with us ;p... haha had a mushroom ham.. super filling and super guilty, considering that i had a sharwarma and cheese fries for supper last night...

after i came back from drawing money, zheng and gg gave me a cake surprise.. wah super malu sia, but thankfully, not a lot of pple there while we were eating. haha the 'birthday cake' they got was so super cool... some chocolate cake with chocolate ice cream and chocolate chips with hot chocolate fudge.. wah everything chocolate... wee hee!!! high sia...

wonder how much lunch cost in total, but thanks to gg and zheng for picking up the tab... haha thx lots guys.. had a really sweet birthday celebration with you...

celeb part (iii)

after church, gera, joa, nick and i went to pick up dr tee and dr foo.. landed up at j8 swensen's..i had a salmon and mushroon pasta, which was a bit of a disappointment cuz the plate was so big, but the portion was small. oh well, isn't that wat we get nowadays.. gera kept complaining that her pasta looked like vomit and didn't eat much... sheesh.. they got me an ice cream moon cake (oh yeah it was maf coincidentally) and a firehouse (which was free).. so yeah, these were my 'bdae cakes'.. haha..

as though we didn't have enough ice cream, we chiong down to island creamery for another ice cream fix.. had a free scoop to myself (i'm so cheapskate =)), so got a burnt caramel, which didn't have as rich a flavour as the others like nutella or reverso.. the others got nutella, reverso, strawberry sorbet and yoghurt flavours. to top it all, we added some m&m's.. the yoghurt was the only bad choice. haha

think we found ourselves another place for us to chill after stuff like yam... haha

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oh well, today has been a really great day... first time that i've been able to celebrate my bdae with my friends, since my bdae is usually during the exam season, so no one usually has the time to celebrate, esp me.. ;p

God's been so good to me.. yeah... so blessed...

Is it me? Is it someone or something who doesn't like me?

2008-09-11T22:54:00.003+08:00

I was supposed to have a long weekend starting from now. But (here's a long..)

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

suddenly got "stuff to do" right smack in the middle of it... sigh... can't go out with joa, geraldine and nick after bible study... sigh

And I can't meet up with pple on sat, when everyone else is free. I know Sunday is possible, but they have church in the morning and i have church in the afternoon, so somehow, the timings don't gel.

You know, its such an uphill task for me to like maintain my friendships or to like deepen new ones.. there are just so many disruptions to my weekends... I have not had a weekend which is Sat and Sun free, just like that. Free for me to just go out and chill with my pals, etc...

sigh... sad life

Just another (burnt) weekend

2008-09-08T10:39:00.003+08:00

Oh well.. what can I say? When they need people, they'll just take you, no questions asked. So you see me burning another Sunday just like that, because they need people. Sigh...

Been really impatient man, trying to rush so many things into the short amount of time I have. Hmmm just too bad I guess, so much things that I wanna do, yet so little time. Heh sometimes I guess I force myself to do too many things at one go... then I get stressed trying to complete my list of stuff to do.

went to witness the CQ people on Sat during the awards ceremony. So we had two teams who got 6th and 11th positions respectively. Yup gold honour roll liao for mr ng. hahA.. but think his high tea will be something pretty cheapo I guess, since we didn't get like top 4 or top 3. ;p

You know, as I set there talking to the Boys, felt kinda weird.. I'm beginning to behave more and more like an adult liao, no more like a young 15 year old, even though I look the age o_O. Sigh where did my youthhood go to? I wanna be a teenager forever...

Procrastinating Change

2008-08-31T11:26:00.003+08:00

Alas, my blog has again fallen into another state of disrepair and lack of updating. But hey, only never update for two months what. Thought I haven't updated it for 6 months. haha...

If there's one part of me that must change, its my habit of realising that there are things to be done and I don't do anything about it. Think that's a poor habit if me, cuz a lot of things just get piled up and I get really discouraged having to sieve through the pile of crap I must do that's overdue.

Think even in work, that's the same thing. People pick up the leftover pieces for me, but why can't I do it? Just because I'm in a position of leadership? (well, would you even call it leadership?)

Been thrust with lots of things to consider about myself these days. All those years that I've been training up to be a leader since my time in ac, am I really the leader everyone expects after all those years? Or am I just stuck in my own world, thinking that I am the right leader and everyone else is wrong?

Read this in one of my friends' blog:

"I believe leadership is an innate trait or rather your affinity for leadership is fixed. Its either you are (or can become) a good leader or you just stink at the whole entire thing. Being stuck in a hierarchical organisation... taught me a lot of things about leadership. And sometimes people who just plain suck are put in positions where they are about as useful as a piece of meat. Sure sure, they can be the most enthusiastic person in the entire world but whats the point if they can’t lead. The worst part is if they are stuck in this distorted, warped reality of theirs that they actually can!"

Been also thinking about what it means to have humility. I searched it up dictionary.com and here are some definitions of it:

Distrust of one's self or one's own powers; lack of self-reliance; modesty; modest reserve; bashfulness. (taken from Webster's Revised Unabridged Dictionary)
the quality or condition of being humble; modest opinion or estimate of one's own importance, rank, etc (taken from Dictionary.com Unabridged (v 1.1) )

Comparing it to this book that I'm reading, entitled Humility (by Andrew Murray), it is 'simply the sense of entire nothingness, which comes when we see how truly God is all, and in which we make way for God to be all.'

Sheesh, to have humility is not an easy thing. sigh..

Think I'm worrying about too many things at a go.. Should take it a step at a time.

ttyl

Social Idiot

2008-07-02T17:28:00.002+08:00

I don't know. It seems like my social life (or more of my socialising skill) has been hitting rock bottom recently. You know, I try to find stuff to talk about with other people, but heh, my rather still brain just remains... still. So yeah, can't think of anything to talk about.. so I just remain that quiet idiot out there, aloof and in his own world.

Sigh.. my brain just feels like jelly right now. Guess its cause I've been too lazy to use it. Got time, just slack. Wonder how much of my life has been wasted already...

Sigh, sound so negative. am I really such a negative person?

sigh...

Thoughts of studying

2008-06-29T21:39:00.002+08:00

You know, I woke up this morning with a mental list of things I had to prepare for the coming exams. The great thing was chinese was over, so yeah, I could strike it off my list and do some other subject, like maths, or phys. Hmm couldn't remember what other subjects I would have this week, so I'd thought I'd try to find my exam timetable.

When I sat up on my bed, the bitter sweet reality struck me. I'm not in skool already, so no more dreaded exams. On the other hand,oh dear, I'm not any younger.

Gosh, miss those school days. Days of truly learning something, doing stupid things just because you are young.

Gonna be two decades old soon.

Sigh, how the years fly by without you knowing...

Throw Smoke

2008-06-16T11:07:00.002+08:00

"SMOKE!!!!

Smoke Screen Formed!!!"

Sounds familiar huh? Miss those days of training.

Alright, I admit that I've been lazy updating this blog. Then again, not much time these past few days to bother. Not much things happening along the way anyway. (Ok, other than LDC, but no available yet, so i'll wait till I have some photos, then I'll throw them up together with what I can remember about it.

Meanwhile, I just got a new iMac. Heh using it now. Compared to my old ibm laptop, this sure is way... cool. gotta get used to the new key commands and shortcuts though.. anyone know of a good website that teaches pc users how to use a mac?

Oh well, been youtubing quite a bit. Never realised pple out there have made so many cool videos with songs that we know of. Guess i'll be adding a few here now and then.

Oh well, I've gotta go and do some reading. Been working too hard at work, no time to do some jolly good reading.

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Cleanse us

2008-05-11T20:28:00.002+08:00

5Young men, in the same way be submissive to those who are older. All of you, clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, because,

"God opposes the proud
but gives grace to the humble."

6Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. 7Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you... ... 10And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast. 11To him be the power for ever and ever. Amen.

~1 Peter 5:1-7, 10-11

Inflation

2008-05-02T15:34:00.004+08:00

Sigh.. everything is getting expensive. Eating out used to be a fun pastime for most people i guess. But now, with prices of food soaring, it seems like restaurants are not all that full at meal times. Makes me wonder where the crowd went to...

sheesh i miss the times when a bowl of mee pok was a reasonable $2.50. Now its minimally $3.50 at a normal food court. Heh cheapo restaurants have changed their menu to reflect higher prices, and portions have become smaller.

Sigh, wonder how do families cope with the rising cost of living here. Petrol goes up, food goes up, electricity goes up, everything goes up, except income =( sigh the life that we lead.. We rush rush rush to make a livelihood that may not make ends meet.

Want to have 3 kids next time, but hmmm, is 2 more than enough?

Well, definitely not that many kids. Heh I'd have to work like crazy.

Labour for what?

2008-05-01T19:06:00.002+08:00

Hmm some people have noticed my change in attitude towards work in camp. Yeah, now trying to sort of do the bare minimum where possible, due to a change in priorities. Of course, there are other more personal reasons, which I shall not disclose here.

Cohesion yesterday was fun. Heh my bowling really sucks like crap. My pendulum method didn't really strike me of well. Didn't even get a single strike nor spare. Then in comes my buddy at the last frame and he scores a strike! Like wtheck... Oh well, some luck i have... Lol playing futsal with my bosses quite fun also. Woah a lot of them quite pro and on the ball one leh.

Anyway, searching for uni-s again. Now unsure about whether i should just stick with purdue, which is like ranked 64th in the entire world, or go for something better like carnegie mellon? Or just forget the whole US thing and go to imperial?

Prob should ask miss wang about it. Heh she's the wisest when it comes to this.

Oh well, tomorrow is the juniors' cohesion. Been looking forward to it, getting to know everyone of them, some of them for the 1st time, others.. well just knowing them again.

Sigh so out of touch..

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“ If you can’t appreciate [the derivation] then just accept it. As I said, in acceptance there is peace. A lot of things you have to accept. You like the girl, the girl doesn’t like you.

— Ms Wang Juat Yong, during one Vectors lecture this year

Like Little Toddlers

2008-04-27T21:08:00.002+08:00

Sigh... Guess home is not the best place to worship. You know, its just like the workplace, so much distractions everywhere. Yeah, even my bed room is too distracting. There's that messy table that I tell myself to clear each time, only to somehow not have the willpower to clear it up in the end. Then there's that bed that lures me to want to sleep, instead of focus on praying.

Then in the office, well, I feel like a little toddler, always wanting to snatch 'things' away from other people. Sigh, guess my dad is right. I'm on the wrong ball man. I should be doing other things that are more worthwhile... Things like praying and seeking. sigh

Heard this from Pastor Yap today:

The Toddler's Rules of Possession
1. If I like it, it’s mine.
2. If it’s in my hand, it’s mine.
3. If I can take it from you, it’s mine.
4. If I had it a little while ago, it’s mine.
5. If it’s mine, it must NEVER appear to be yours in anyway.
6. If I’m doing or building something, all the pieces are mine.
7. If it looks just like mine, it is mine.
8. If I saw it first, it’s mine.
9. If you are playing with something and you put it down, it automatically becomes mine.
10. If it’s broken, it’s yours.

Heh its pretty lame, but isn't it true of us these days?Sigh

Oh well, gotta go now. Face my problems again..

14We know that the law is spiritual; but I am unspiritual, sold as a slave to sin. 15I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. 16And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. 17As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. 18I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. 19For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. 20Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.
21So I find this law at work: When I want to do good, evil is right there with me. 22For in my inner being I delight in God's law; 23but I see another law at work in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within my members. 24What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death? 25Thanks be to God—through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, I myself in my mind am a slave to God's law, but in the sinful nature a slave to the law of sin.

~Romans 7:14-25

Silver and a day off

2008-04-22T22:08:00.002+08:00

Yeah... Couldn't believe it myself, but I got my silver for ippt today.

Seriously, never expected myself to jump 221cm on the first try. I was like.. WOAH!!! Cuz I still remember last time in bmt and sispec, i jump like only 200cm one. Really sian one..

Oh well, I got my silver, and my one day off. yippee..

GOD IS GOOD ALL THE TIME

Chorus:
God is good all the time
He put a song of praise
In this heart of mine
God is good all the time
Through the darkest night
His light will shine
God is good
God is good all the time

If you're walking through the valley
There are shadows all around
Do no fear He will guide you
He will keep you safe and sound
He has promised to never leave you
Nor forsake you
And His Word is true

Chorus

We were sinners so unworthy
Still for us He chose to die
He filled us with His Holy Spirit
Now we can stand and testify
That His love is everlasting
And His mercies they will never end

Chorus

Though I may not understand
All the plans You have for me
My life is in Your hands
And through the eyes of faith
I can clearly see

Chorus

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P.S: Today's Earth Day. So Happy Earth Day. LOL

Song of the Moment

2008-04-21T21:23:00.002+08:00

Verse 1
As we worship You,
let all the world come and see
How the mercy we received from You
can set them free
As we worship You, let all this joy that fills our hearts
Bring a hunger and a hope
to those who strayed so far

Chorus
As we bow in adoration and stand in reverent awe
Show Your majesty and glory, let Your anointing fall
As we declare Your name Lord Jesus
as the only name who saves
May the power of Your salvation
fill each heart we pray

Verse 2
As we worship You,
let all the nations hear our song
Song of Jesus and His blood that proved His love for all
As we worship You, may all the lost and broken come
May they hear Your still small voice
call out their names each one

Chorus
As we bow in adoration and stand in reverent awe
Show Your majesty and glory, let Your anointing fall
As we declare Your name Lord Jesus
as the only name who saves
May the power of Your salvation
fill each heart we pray

As we worship You, as we worship You
As we worship You, as we worship You
As we worship You

de-stress???

2008-04-16T10:16:00.001+08:00

Do these facial exercises every two hours
It is good for stress-relief !

Wow what a way to destress..

OCT liao loh

2008-04-12T21:58:00.002+08:00

No lah, not oct in army lah... OCT in 12th coy...

Yeah went for OCO today. Met up with Zheng Yang, who was also attending the course.

Oh well, the course was pretty useful lah, cuz it gave us the right perspective on being an officer in 12th coy. Gotta have that shift in thinking, cuz we're no longer Boys liao. haha

The unfortunate thing was that the course was on the same day as enrollment!! Sian lor.. Oh well, Mr Ng helped me pull string by negotiating with them to allow me to leave after the last lesson before the test, which was at 4.30pm. haha but the lecturer went on and on and we ended at like 5pm instead. kee yikes... So yeah, once it ended, me and zheng yang just made a bee-line to zion road and hopped into a cab. Hopefully, I wouldn't miss singing the coy theme song. haha guess that's the most meaningful part of the enrollment.

lol so when I stepped into the sanctuary in my OCT uniform, I was just in time for the dedication of officers. amazing huh? fresh out of oco, and then immediately dedicated as an oct. lol

At the end of it, the y5s, jonas, kiwi, khoo and i went to have dinner at island creamery in serene centre. but well, the journey there was a hassle in itself. all the buses that could take us there were always full and crowded. yeah no choice but to go in waves..

ok so in all, think there were about 20 of us hungry young men and ladies who chalked up half of the outlet, feasting on 2 whole mudpies and 6 tubs of ice cream. haha the lady behind the counter was pretty pissed at us for being so budget by ordering mudpies by the whole thing, rather than by slices.

gotta admit, the ice cream was pretty nice. nutella, horlicks and teh tarik was shiok. koped some bandung ice cream as well. now that was good too.haha... diabetes in every bite.

at the end, we came up with this crazy idea of giving every year 2 an island creamery tub before the primers rod next year. rofl imagine the amount of ice cream they're gonna have to gobble down man. wah haha..

anywayz, went back home with felicia and zhuo'er on 156.. didn't know zhuo'er stayed so close to us.

wow wat a great day!!

'allo 'allo

2008-04-09T22:48:00.001+08:00

yippee... all the new series of 'allo 'allo and the vicar of dibley have arrived!! haha more stuff to watch and laugh at now... wee hee

don't get distracted though...

Can things get any worse?

2008-04-08T22:09:00.002+08:00

lol just realised i haven't updated for close to 1.5 months. Sheesh brunei was about a month ago. Fun times man...

you know, i gotta admit i've strayed quite far. Been really prayer-less these few months. Just did something that I wasn't really proud of last sunday. Wonder how i could have deteoriated to this kind of condition.

guess its now a wake-up call for me to stop living on my own strength (and stop bluffing myself that i haven't been doing that). sigh...

gosh wat a bad eg i am..

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7 Cleanse me with hyssop, and I will be clean;
wash me, and I will be whiter than snow.

~Psalm 51:7

Broken Commitments

2008-03-01T20:29:00.002+08:00

i've really got no discipline at all...

currently in brunei supporting my unit in some form of training. Notice that I use the word 'supporting', so that may mean to imply that i'm not supposed to be doing much here, (which was what i thought about initially before coming here)

so thus i initially thought that I could spend the loads of free time here spending time with God and seeking Him. In fact, i thought coming to brunei was actually a good deal as I'm away from the bn line and away from the distractions of work and home. Thought that by coming to brunei, i could find some form of hideaway from the busy-ness of everyday life and thus find time to seek God, particularly for the yr 2 ce prog, which i really have no idea on how to run.

The first few days was ok, with my QT being just abt the standard. Still full of distractions in my mind. Frustrating... Oh well, as the days go by, I just can't seem to be able to continue to focus properly. QT somehow became a routine and I don't have much desire to really pray, much less seek Him.

Think I can guess why... Kept watching too much heroes and prison break on the comp. Yeah. Can't discipline myself ( or perhaps no desire ) to stay in my bunk and just focus on God alone. Spent the time watching shows instead...

Didn't feel that much 'withdrawal symptoms', since I did find ways to occupy myself in camp.

But right now, at this very moment that i'm typing now, that sense of emptiness and feeling lost is there. Currently on a mid-way r&r now, which is supposedly meant to be happy lah. But well, as i went around the mall, pretty aimless, i just felt pretty drained and.. well sian! REally really sianz.... Like there's nothing to look forward to. The two other guys whom I tagged along with were looking for stuff for their girlfriends or friends who are girls, and i felt bored throughout the time of shopping.. felt a bit frustrated, cuz well, can't think of many friends who are girls at this time...

Mood swing? Well, I guess it part of my personality. Cuz i'm the guy who really needs that bit of personal attention from the pple around me. i just need to feel included in whatever everyone is doing before i'm happy. I really hate the feeling of being left out. sigh... perhaps that was what i felt just now... my two pals were just talking abt what gifts to buy to woo girls, while i just stood around, wondering when i can get one...

Somehow, i think i'm missing the big picture. I should be happy and joyful through it all, since I have God in my heart. But then, why is it that i feel otherwise at this current moment? Just feeling like i'm here wasting my time.

Wonder who reads this blog... but if you do read it, do pray for me can? I don't know... just very lost and I don't really have the desire to want to go deeper with God.

Pls pray that:
1) God will ignite my heart, and that I will respond
2) I will have the desire to want to seek Him.
3)Yr 2 ce prog

Speaking of which, yeah, just don't know how to steer it. What's more, I have not much of a burden for them, even though I'm their training officer. Not much burden for my juniors too.

Feel like a faker too... like my life has been a lie throughout... guess i'll talk about it some other time...

a big hypocrite

2008-02-22T20:56:00.002+08:00

you know... i recommend to pple to do this and that, all for their good or the good of others.. but i don't really do wat i recommend to others...

sigh you get the point... its like saying you should love your parents, but yet in front of them, you treat them as though they were your enemies or sth...

oh well.. gonna be a bigger hypocrite soon... wanna tell pple how they should love the pple they have under them, and yet i dun really care for that same grp of guys, whom i think i should be caring abt...

sheesh talking a lot in a roundabout way. sorry lah, just tired from my exercise.. plus internet explorer and msn keep screwing up all the time.. just gettting pissed...

Got that same sick feeling

2008-02-10T21:43:00.000+08:00

sigh how time flies...

chinese new year is over, and life's gonna go back to normal. In fact, in just a few min, gotta run back to camp soon.

don't wanna face the same problems that have been draining me out...
don't wanna have to keep trying to maintain my head above the others...
don't wanna sleep back in my bunk...
don't wanna go through the usual mundane routine...

i just wanna ord...

its 100

2008-02-06T10:59:00.000+08:00

err yeah, this post just so happens to be my 100th post. so err.. yay!!!

oh well, ended my course entirely yesterday. we finished early, so yay!!!

anywayz, some of my coursemates ie kaiwen, cheuk, joel and i went to party world to go sing song. sheesh realised i missed out a lot a lot, esp on chinese and english songs. only knew like a handful of them. sigh...

then good old cheuk is one super pro singer. he can sound like one powerful woman, without you realising it. yupz

then we saw wiki-ang unleash his power at kino, woah power. he knows a hell lot of books on philosophy sold in there. scary sia..

bumped into tim toh there. heard they ended skool at 2.40 anyway, rather than drag on till 4.40.. happy like birds sia...

anywayz, if you're wondering why i'm not in camp now, that's cuz i'm on off today ;)

anywayz, just in case i got no chance to come online later, wishing you a happy ratty new year.hehe

how quick the joy goes away

2008-02-01T22:04:00.000+08:00

time flies and a month is gone. just ended my course today. haha all the fun days and sleeping on a good bed are over.

haha wonder if you guys out there have this prob that i have.. like you know when you just found this guy who somehow seems to have a lot of ways common to you. so yeah you and him begin to share your lives with each other, get to know each other's habits (good and bad). then after some time (like say 4 months together), you realise your friendship lacks the kind of enthusiasm you once had when you guys first met. yeah... like a married couple that lacks enthusiasm for each other. they just look at each other, say hi, and well, don't really talk with each other after that.

oh well, guess its just me..

anywayz, dad emailed me this link. brings you to a webpage that allows you to view the interior of the A380 cockpit at 360 degrees. enjoy
http://www.gillesvidal.com/blogpano/cockpit1.htm

~tired~

Disappointing end

2008-01-21T22:17:00.000+08:00

you know, channel 8 is really screwed up..

watched the last episode of huang2 jing1 lou4 in camp. the ending was really ridiculous. jin long committed suicide because bak kut girl was killed by kaijie. then kaijie got killed by some random hotel attendant in his hotel room. and they just left it as that.. like huh? what the heck? after all the build up of action and suspense, you'd assume kaijie to be put behind bars for life for all the wrong things he had done.. but instead, channel 8 pays $50 to some random boy to stab tay ping hui.

what's going on man? so disappointing

its convicts, not comics

2008-01-20T20:01:00.000+08:00

sheesh, my hearing must be really screwed...

met up with jonas, karlo, russ and shaun ong at holland v today to discuss about the ce prog. wanted to eat at bk, cuz its easier to discuss the ce prog there.. but well, the 3 of them had better taste, so we went to crystal jade instead... then me and jonas were supposed to treat them to 2 baskets of xiao long bao and a hong2 you2 cha1 shou3, but in the end, jonas ended up treating all of us. haiyo.. i just stuffed ten bucks into jonas' bible to pay for my bowl of zha2 jiang4 mian4.

craved for some ice cream after lunch, so i suggested going to this shop along lor mambong that sells those fancy ice cream. but well, the 3 of them had a better idea: go to cold storage and buy two tubs of ice cream o_0

while walking there, this random guy came up to me and asked me if i believed in giving convicts a second chance.. but i misheard it as giving comics a second chance. here's how the conversation went:

random guy: Do you believe in giving ex-convicts a second chance?
Me: Sorry, I don't really read comics.

Well, the guy just gave me a weird stare and think he was cursing me inside. I didn't know why he was giving the weird look, until russell asked me what i thot i heard. Gosh, really embarassed when they told me what the guy actually asked... Anyway, to the guy there, real sorry. My ears are cocked up. And I DO believe in giving ex-convicts a 2nd chance.

anyway, we went on to cold storage and bought 2 tubs of ice cream, one chocolate flavour, and another one with some donut flavour or something. When we opened the donut tub, we didn't see a flat surface that you usually see when you open a new tub of ice cream. The donut tub seemed to be dug in, as though someone had eaten half of it and then returned it back to the refrigerator at cold storage. Gross right? but well, we just went on eating...

hope i don't get the LS syndrome.. haha

Scholar, not an Officer, striving to be a Gentleman

2008-01-19T09:50:00.000+08:00

Scholar- mugger? perhaps.. but well, not a very smart guy to begin with. but all these years, its just sheer hard work that has got me to where i am today. as the saying goes, qing2 neng 2 bu3 zhuo2.. so yeah, must continue to work hard and give myself more time. guess that's my shortcoming: my inability to absorb things fast...

not an Officer: of course lah.. nco only mah.. just a spec of dust.. no big deal...

striving to be a Gentleman: yeah this is my big goal.. wanna be refined in all i do, all i say, how i think.., all in the image of Christ.. think there'll be hard times to reach there. but well, fire refines gold, and the finished product is priceless..

-----------------

3For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the measure of faith God has given you.

~Romans 12:3

Why am I so indecisive?

2008-01-14T19:28:00.000+08:00

well, guess that's cuz i:

1) think too much about how other pple will feel if i chose option A

2) realise that option B is better after saying option A is fine with me. but then again, if i do get a chance and change to option B, i may take a step back and realise that, hey, option A is actually better after all. :s

haiz i dunno... why am i so not decisive? cuz i myself don't know what i really want? or just don't know which is the better of the two evils?

anywayz, think i'll prolly be going to brunei with my unit. woah deja vu... haiz... going to the place where i initially detested going.

-----------

~why indecisive?~

The Mayonnaise Jar and Coffee

2008-01-12T14:44:00.000+08:00

Got this from an email.. Read it long time before, but thot i'd just share:

When things in your life seem almost too much to handle, when 24 hours in a day are not enough, remember the mayonnaise jar and the 2 cups of coffee.

A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him.

When the class began, wordlessly, he picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was. The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full they agreed it was. The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with a unanimous "yes." The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar, effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed.

"Now," said the professor, as the laughter subsided, "I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things - your God, family, your children,> your health, your friends, and your favorite passions--things that if everything else was lost and only they remained your life would still be full. The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house, and your car. The sand is everything else -- the small stuff. If you put the sand into the jar first," he continued, "there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are important to you. Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play with your children. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your partner out to dinner. Play another 18. There will always be time to clean the house and fix the disposal." Take care of the golf balls first -- the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand."

One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the coffee represented. The professor smiled. "I'm glad you asked. It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a couple of cups of coffee with a friend."
----------

Coffee, anyone? haha

Good Work Soldier!!

2008-01-11T14:30:00.000+08:00

Yay reached my one-year mark!!! I'm now an official 1-year soldier!! Yay, new emart credits, more lao-jiao also.. haha

Bad thing is, now my 2nd year window is open => chiong for ippt and soc, which i haven't done for a looooong time... my knee still hurts.. went for a review at dso.. they realised that my right leg is significantly weaker than the left leg, thanks to the pain...

It's been a jolly up and down journey in my ns life so far. Thank God for all those people who have been looking out for me all these while...

oh well.. 10 more months till i ord... though its pretty tempting, guess its still too early to go into the ord mood.. haha

----------------

With a Thankful Heart

from Don Moen's Hiding Place

With a thankful heart

And a song of praise

We've come to You

Gathered in this place

For the things You've done

And for who You are

We worship You

With a thankful heart

CHORUS:

So we lift up our praise

And we lift up out sacrifice to You

Lord we offer our prayers

And we offer our lives in gratitude

For all You do

We worship You

With a thankful heart

We will give You praise

You've been so good

Covered us with grace

You have been our strength

In a time so dark

So we worship You

With a thankful heart

Hoppy New Year!!!

2008-01-01T21:13:00.000+08:00

Yup that's right folks!! Happy New Year!! Can't believe its 2008 huh? well, neither can I..

went to see the fireworks at marina bay last night with jkum. spent quite a bit of time navigating through the crowds. still, we settled at this nice big open grass patch just next to the ntuc building. Gosh it was a wonderful place for bringing your gf. It was windy and cool. plus, its not packed if you stand somewhere near the back. why bother squeezing in front? haha

the fireworks were ok lah, but the experience of crossing into the new year with my good pal, priceless..

oh and yeah, since i just received the chipmunks soundtrack, thought i'd show how they actually record the chipmunks' voices... yup pretty intriging..

Cool Belt

2007-12-30T21:08:00.000+08:00

yay... got this nice new belt from aunty kah eng today. think this should go well with my jeans, unlike the stupid $2 belt from daiso.. i mean its nice lah, but this new one is definitely more suited for jeans..

then she also treated my ss class for lunch at this restaurant at tmcc.. wah the food was great. i liked my fried ice cream lots.. wonder how they fry it while still keeping the ice cream inside cold.. must have skill...

i love my belt.. and new year is coming!!

Another class gathering

2007-12-29T23:32:00.000+08:00

sheesh my post titles are getting stale and stagnant. can't think of anything more creative.. sigh

anyway, as the post title suggests, had another so1d class gathering at wang kan's house. pretty nice place... and his room is so much neater than mine!! gosh gotta do something about the mess i'm living in every weekend.. =(

so ok, not many pple turned up.. just jiashun, ms goon, zhaowei, zheng and i. modest number, but still enough for texas hold 'em!! the mtv was pretty distracting, so didn't have the full impact of the game.

had canadian pizza for dinner. think the raw chilli with bbq sauce and cheese in the singapura special was a poisonous combination, cuz i caught the L.S syndrome and had to stink up wang kan's toilet. oops...

after dinner, we just sat down to talk cock about uni. never knew js and wk were so into economics. wah js even knows lots about econs in the uk... sheesh what am i doing man? like wat zheng said, i feel so useless reading all the novels that i'm reading now.

anywayz, i met up with chork after we left wk's house. passed him his christmas present: pink ankle socks!! yup you didn't read it wrongly. why those? well, he loves pink right? and yeah, think he needs to move on from the white socks he's been wearing since pri skool, right chork? haha hope you like it...

Merry Christmas

2007-12-25T15:18:00.001+08:00

And a Happy New Year!!!

plans and miracles

2007-12-23T23:30:00.000+08:00

the plan today was to meet up with what was left of so1d for kbox. so ok, arrived at somerset mrt at 11.30am, on time. Of course, only ms goon was the 1st to arrive. she told me that the rest would be coming late, either at 1pm, 2pm or 4pm... 2+1 words came to my mind: "kena conned again!" sheesh shouldn't have bothered coming on time.. should have stayed at home, play some texas hold 'em before coming over..

oh well, so in the end, only 4 of us (grace, weijia, esther and i) walked over to cine to have lunch. we settled on xin wang on the 3rd floor. since i ate a baked rice like just 2 days ago, i decided to whack a pork chop instead. pretty ok lah... to me, baked rice is still the best dish ever. yup!!!

we just sit there, talk cock, laugh at each other lor.. how each of them are failing C++.. come to think of it, what's the relevance of learning C++, when there are other better languages to play about out there in the IT world? halfway through, got a bit bored, so i used grace's phone to tape weijia eating for 5 min... no significance, but weijia just kept whining why i have something against her... lol

arcade nxt, but the arcade at cine so small... me and grace first tried this stupid shoot the mutated jungle freaks.. these are the kind of games i hate, frankly speaking. all the giant spiders crawling all over you, trying to eat you up.. yucks.. then nxt was daytona. can never beat esther, but prob because my car's manual transmission got problem... can't shift to 4th gear on time, and the stick can't go to 2nd gear. screwed up car...

went to kbox after flying an aeroplane. just sing sing sing lor... got a bit sian after some time.. dunno how chork was able to sing till 4am last night and come back for another kbox shot.. like he's addicted to it or sth.. must get him a cold turkey treatment.. wah haha...

left halfway to go to church... told uncle loy cheow that i would be half an hour late for sunday school. but then, when i arrived, i realised that the class was cancelled, since other than me, NO ONE else came... sad huh? wonder why our priorities are so screwed up... sigh...

the singing by the kids was most wonderful.. they're real pros. think they should be fine for tomorrow's christmas carolling service... haha =)

anywayz, went to my grandma's house for dinner to celebrate their 60th wedding anniversary. Woah so many years together. Saw a photo of them at their 50th wedding anniversary (when i was just 9 years old.. hah). They haven't changed much, other than the fact that grandpa is on a wheel chair now. Gotta really thank and praise God for keeping them together for 60 years. Not easy you know, having to raise 5 children so that i can have so many cousins to talk to. haha..

you know, this celebration was nearly impossible. i still remember how my grandpa fell off the weighing scale last year, causing him to be warded in the icu for close to a month. brain haemorrhage i think. Though the fall has caused him to be wheel-chair dependent, i still really wanna thank God that he's still alive and can still remember who we all are. usually, when you fall and strike the back of your head on the ground first, i believe you'll have some form of amnesia. Think you're more likely to get it if you're 84 years old in a more severe form. (haha biologists out there, correct me if i'm wrong. =) )

If anyone asks to see a miracle, i'll just tell them to look at my grandpa; he is THE miracle..

Conned the warlords

2007-12-22T23:35:00.000+08:00

Went for the officers' retreat at ac today. supposed to start at 1.30pm, so i was there on time i guess, lugging all my barang barang for staying over at the boarding skool. caught with a few pple, like mr lai and kiwi... Sheesh, haven't seen kiwi for such a long time, since the last enrollment in march... he's really slim sia... haha

anywayz, we didn't really start till about 2.30pm, waiting for everyone else to gather slowly. Then we started with reports on how the past year has been for the various cohorts. struggling to keep awake throughout, cuz well, these stuff didn't really concern me, since i haven't been at parades for some time now. so just listen to everyone else voice their concerns, see mr ng shoot arrows here and there. haha

thought we would have a chance after dinner to have some 'spiritual time', like just spend time worshipping together or something.. but well, we went through the workplan for next year instead. lol... so i just sit there and listen lor... discuss discuss till about 9, which was time for us to go for the warlords at vivo. so yup, no time to sort of affirm one another... hmmm maybe that would be meant for tomorrow.. but well, mr ng said that since all the 2008 appointments and workplan have been confirmed, then there's no more other program until the potluck at 5.30pm tomorrow.. ie to say, the retreat is over, and well, no point staying over... (come to think of it, seems like i was the only idiot prepared to stay over.. sigh so gullible)

when i heard that, 2 words came to my mind: "kena conned!" haha... so i lugged my barang barang along with me to vivo and watched the warlords... quite a typical chinese tragedy like huang2 jing1 jia3. the main characters become brothers first, then kill each other in the end... haha so typical... wonder if jay chou sang any song for this show. lol

and wow, the show ended at midnight, the last train out of vivo was at 11.15pm... thot i would be kinda stuck there, but thankfully, pappy offered to drive all the way there to pick me up... so nice of him...

thank God for such loving parents...

Bum bum bum around

2007-12-21T23:06:00.000+08:00

wah today was pretty fruitful.. for once, i woke up early on my own at 7.30am and went to jog!!! Bit slow then what i could when i was sec 3, but, hey, i managed to drag myself out of bed didn't i? What's more, I could do the monkey bar one bar at a time.. Whee now the time i take to clear the bar is significantly faster than my previous times. haha learnt something great this time round. now just need to continue practising...

met up with popo and yeye at plaza sing, then go buy movie ticks to watch nat'l treasure: book of secrets at the old cathay... then met up with dad to go eat lunch at the malay stall along zion road that sells ge-rate (great) beef rendang. Nice sia.. We went to jalan jalan at great world city, looking for a nice pair of casual shoes for me.. saw this pretty colourful diesel shoe.. pity that the front was a bit too narrow; not too suitable for my wide feet =( so in the end, we didn't buy anything there...

ok so we drove back to the old cathay to watch nat'l treasure. The steps to unlock the treasure were really good.. makes you wanna be part of the treasure hunting group... other than that, pretty average show lah... bit of laughs here and there, but overally good.. i'll give it a 3 out of 5.

met up with gay sim after the show.. haha he so funny, come meet me in rj pe attire... like aiyoyo, that patriotic?

so we bummed around suntec city and marina square, doing some christmas shopping. then we did our own gift exchange. I bought him this cool, nice tee-shirt with those kind of 'double layerings' at the collar and the sleeves, and he got me what i wanted from hmv: the essential Billy Joel!!! Yippeee!!! But wah, it costs $24.95, but comes with 2 cds, so pretty worth it i guess. wonder why i saw it as $14.95 the other time... cock-eye lah...haha..

we hanged around hmv looking for our own stuff. found the 'enchanted' soundtrack!!! Wah the songs were beautiful.. think its a better choice compared to alvin and the chipmunks. can't really bare listening to these animals squealing away.. haha.. gee i really hope i can get the 'enchanted' soundtrack soon [hint hint ;) ]

anywayz, going for a 12th coy retreat over the weekend... haha do hope i'll be able to make full use of the time to seek God about my decision on returning there nxt year...

improvement

2007-12-20T16:45:00.000+08:00

hmm things seem to be getting better this week... don't have that same dreaded feeling i feel each day... the feeling of inadequacy.

anywayz, Christmas is coming near. and i'm now on block leave!!! Woo hoo... so if anyone wanna call me out, now's the time yeah? ;)

watched enchanted again last week with jkum... hehe really enjoyed the singing once more.. can't wait to get my hands on the soundtrack, then can throw it into my ipok..

speaking of which, i happened to see the new ipok touch.. WAH! so nice, so cool, so pretty. all the cosmetic features in the ipok touch are just so cool.. and yes, you can watch youtube on the thing too, since the touch also has a wireless modem attached to it. time for an upgrade? neh, don't think so.. still love my good ol' ipok photo. haha... still haven't used 9GB of the thing yet, so waiting to rip more albums when they start coming in...

haha as always, since Christmas is here, i always like to show the great parody of Christmas.. hope you enjoy laughing at it, just as much as I have enjoyed watching it... ahaa

The 12 Pains of Christmas
The first thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me
Is finding a Christmas tree

The second thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me
Rigging up the lights
And finding a Christmas tree

The third thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me
Hangovers
Rigging up the lights
And finding a Christmas tree

The fourth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to
Sending Christmas cards
Hangovers
Rigging up the lights
And finding a Christmas tree

The fifth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me
Five months of bills!
Sending Christmas cards
Hangovers
Rigging up the lights
And finding a Christmas tree

The sixth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me
Facing my in-laws
Five months of bills!
Oh, I hate those Christmas cards!
Hangovers
Rigging up these lights!
And finding a Christmas tree

The seventh thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me
The Salvation Army
Facing my in-laws
Five months of bills!
Sending Christmas cards
Oh, geez!I'm tryin' to rig up these lights!
And finding a Christmas tree

The eighth thing at Christmas that such a pain to me:
I WANNA TRANSFORMER FOR CHRISTMAS!!!!
Charities,
And whataya mean "YOUR in-laws"?!?
Five months of bills!
Oh, making out these cards
Honey, get me a beer, huh?
What, we have no extension cords?!?
And finding a Christmas tree

The ninth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me
Finding parking spaces
DADDY, I WANT SOME CANDY!!!!
Donations!
Facing my in-laws
Five months of bills!
Writing out those Christmas cards
Hangovers!
Now why the hell are they blinking?!?!?
And finding a Christmas tree

The tenth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me:
A mother:"Batteries Not Included"
No parking spaces
BUY ME SOMETHIN'!!!
Get a job, ya bum!
Oh, facing my in-laws!
Five months of bills!
Yo-ho, sending Christmas cards
Oh, geez, look at this!
One light goes out, they ALL go out!!!
And finding a Christmas tree

The eleventh thing of Christmas that's such a pain to me:
Stale TV specials
"Batteries Not Included"
No parking spaces
DAD, I GOTTA GO TA BATHROOM!!
Charities!
She's a witch...I hate her!
Five months of bills!
Oh, I don't even KNOW half these people!
Oh, who's got the toilet paper, huh?
Get a flashlight...I blew a fuse!!
And finding a Christmas tree
The twelfth thing of Christmas that's such a pain to me:
Singing Christmas carols
Stale TV specials
"Batteries Not Included"
No parking?!?
WAAAAAAAAAAH! WAAAAAAAAAAH!
Charities!
Gotta make 'em dinner!
Five months of bills!
I'm not sendin' them this year, that's it!
Shut up, you!
FINE! YOU'RE SO SMART, YOU RIG UP THE LIGHTS!!!
And finding a Christmas tree

Something to ponder on

2007-12-16T23:14:00.000+08:00

5Young men, in the same way be submissive to those who are older.
All of you, clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, because,
"God opposes the proud
but gives grace to the humble."
6Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. 7Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.

ok i'm sorry

2007-12-09T21:52:00.002+08:00

to my dear buddy,

ok i admit, you were right all along. No one would really give a damn about what time we return, or whether we return or not. I'm sorry for making you travel all the way from the west to the east, and for making you leave your home sweet home at such an early time, when there wasn't a need to do so.

Sorry lah, just too over-paranoid. Christmas is just around the corner, and i just don't want anything to happen to any of us. Guess my over-paranoidness is my weakness. hope you understand that...

forgive me won't you?

frustrated; inadequate

2007-12-08T11:31:00.000+08:00

that's 2 words to describe my past week. Simply put, I feel as though i'm a class lower than all my other colleagues in my office.

For a start, I'm a sgt with a stupid 'jack-knife', hence i'm supposed to be able to do more things than my fellow peers and do my tasks well in a smarter, more efficient way.

Yet somehow, things don't seem to work out as they are. Here's the list:

1) I'm blur
Think that's my biggest defect within me. My brain is just dull and I tend to do things in a long, roundabout way. I fail to see how a task can be done in a more obvious and easier way. For eg, when i scan through a list, i find a mistake on pg 2. I edit the mistake and print out the new list, only to find another mistake on pg 3. i edit that mistake and then find another mistake on pg 5... that sort of thing. Dumb right? my defense is that i'm tired out, cuz i did this at around 9pm. but hey, my good buddy was also doing his own stuff till that time and he's equally tired out as me. he asked why i didn't check through the entire thing 1st, edit at one shot and print at one shot? I was speechless, then just nodded my head and said, " oh yar hor.."

Yeah, think i'm not using enough of my brains. I mean, i'm certain i'm a smart person, but now my brain is just a sponge that absorbs info but can never utilise the knowledge that i have. my brain can't even think through the ways that i can complete tasks. yeah, my brain is just a sponge that is damn good at exams, but sux at doing other things. die man, how to survive when i work?

thankfully got my good buddy here who is observant and somehow knows everything that's going on. Sometimes I ask him how he knows, then he gives me the 'its-so-bloody-obvious' look or the 'i-thought-you-were-there-when-this-guy-told-us-about-it' look. Makes me wonder why I seem to miss out so many things. Gosh, i feel more like a liability than an asset, so inferior. Am I really so blur, or plain oblivious, or both????

2) Dunno What Everyone is Doing
Just like yesterday in the office, everyone was doing something useful and they KNEW what they had to do. For me, i just wandered around the office, wandering WHAT i had to do. It seems like I've finished most important tasks and there was nothing for me at the moment, but it can't be, cuz everyone else was doing something. Just went around wandering what I could do within my area of responsibility. But no leh, found nothing. Tried to think of the not so important stuff that i had always wanted to do, but couldn't think of it leh. Tried to see how I could help, but not so well-versed in the other areas of responsibility. Sigh just frustrated, cuz i was walking around like a man who has no instructions from his boss. I mean, I am, to a certain extent, a superior, yet I was just wandering around like an employee. you know how frustrating that is?

3) Bother about the wrong things
Yeah, ok, prob its because our priorities are different. But then, my good buddy seems to know the more important things to bother about, while i choose to bother about the superficial things. Sigh confused...

4) Too good a life last time
Yeah this is my 'retribution'. Led such a spoilt life when I was young.. Now come here, simple things like tearing scotch tape without a scissors also cannot do properly. Sigh so inadequate. Gotta really start doing things on my own..

Sigh... Just feel useless and inadequate at where I am now. Is this the punishment for my (supposed) disobedience?

~confused~
------------------------

26In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness.
We do not know what we ought to pray for,
but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express.
27And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit,
because the Spirit intercedes for the saints in accordance with God's will.

~Romans 8:26-27

off is almost gone

2007-11-25T15:35:00.000+08:00

have pretty mixed feelings about the off i've taken so far...

pretty happy about it cuz i really got to sleep and recover all the sleep debt that i owe. just basically pugging around each day feels great. of course, i'm now more conscious of my flabby arms and weak knees, with almost zero stamina. haiz always wanted to go out and just do some running, but somehow never got the chance to do so. always wake up at 9.30am each day. by that time, the sun is out and well, not very good to chiong when its so hot right?

pretty sian cuz i just couch potato myself at home most of the time, mugging for that darn sat... wanna go out and energise myself with friends, but well, they're either not free, or sometimes, i just dun feel like disturbing a few, cuz hey, we're now worlds apart doing our own stuff. have that premonition that it may get really awkward if we meet up again to 'catch-up'. anywayz, catch-up is just to eat, say how are you, prob watch a movie if there's time, then that's bout it... actually, dun mind doing a lot more like just cycling, playing soccer? but well, to some others, its just too troublesome and leh chey (or is it just me?)

sorry ramblings again. gosh I can't believe I spent this entire weekend rotting at home, doing nothing constructive at all. sigh i really should have gone out with some friends...

cranky self again

2007-11-24T22:39:00.001+08:00

getting cranky again...

thought of going to east coast park early this morning to do some good quality reading. suggested that to mum, who promptly replied, "What about your SAT? Are you going to set aside time for it?" sheesh, that put me off immediately. like i know you care, but you don't have to remind me again right? like this is the freakin 3rd time i'm doing sat.. do until i damn sian... anywayz, not much chance for me to have that sudden desire to go to east coast in the morning.

ok nvm, went to fetch pappy from some old cat high boys gathering from turf city, then went to bt timah plaza to bum around at the ntuc finest... dunno lah, seems like another normal ntuc, with just a few imported stuff and a bit high class. guess the prices for normal stuff also pretty high, compared to the other normal ntuc outlets huh...

basically, just stoned at home for the remainder of the afternoon.. switched btw mugging sat, reading my library book and sleeping and reading my bible. haiz, how time seems to fly so fast. really frustrated to suddenly realise that twenty min have gone past when it seems only ten min have gone by. hmph fast-paced society.

thot of calling kum out for dinner, but he not very free... dunno who else to call leh, so in the end, once again, the family guy goes out with his family.

felt weird walking through orchard... along the streeets, you see many grps of young pple hanging around with their pals, bumming around, having dinner together. you don't see a lot of kids walking around with their parents at this time of the day. felt really out of place, esp at the manhattan fish market at plaza sing. the tables around ours were filled with youngsters just having a good dinner together, something that i haven't had for a long time now. plus, with frizzled, unkempt hair, sloppy shirt, and a brother trying to teach me how to cut fish properly, i felt super out of place. gosh i just wanted to siam from the place as fast as i could.

throughout the whole time, my brother would be saying all the bad things about dad when they were in australia together. strange huh, how a father-and-son trip that was meant to bond father and son together resulted in father and son hating each other even more. gosh, makes me cringe and feel even more frustrated.

how not to be cranky?

if only reality was this enchanted

2007-11-23T21:59:00.000+08:00

wanted to watch 'lions for lambs' at the cinema, but sadly, it was not screening anymore. so instead, we watched 'enchanted'..

typical disney cartoon in the opening scene. the singing was wonderful, just like any normal fairy tale. think disney did a great job in combining the real world with the world of fantasy, esp the scene in which Giselle started singing in central park and everyone in the park just got in the entire act together, just like another great disney performance, with song and dance.

didn't want to leave the show, cuz that would mean returning straight to reality, where problems are solved through arguments, under-cutting, back-stabbing, rather than just singing a song.

now if only what they do in fairy tales can be applied to real life; just sing and your problems are solved!!!

oh well, dream on.....

--------------------

(Giselle/Amy)When you meet this someone
who is meant for you
Before two can become one
there's something you must do
(Woodland Creatures)
Do you pull each other's tails?
Do you feed each other seeds?
(G/A)[Laughs] No, There is something sweeter everybody needs.
I've been dreaming of a true love's kiss
And a prince, I'm hoping, comes with this
That's what brings ever-aftering so happy
That's the reason we need lips so much
For lips are the only things that touch
So to spend a life of endless bliss
Just find who you love through true love's kiss

Ahahahaha Ahahahaha Ahahahahaha
(Woodland Creatures) Ahahahaha Ahahahaha Ahahahahaha
She's been dreaming of a true love's kiss
And a prince, she's hoping, comes with this
That's what springs ever-afterings so happy
That's the reason we need lips so much
For lips are the only things that touch

(G/A)So to spend a life of endless bliss
Just find who you love through true love's kiss
(Edward/James)You're the fairest maid I've ever met
You were made
(G/A) to finish your duet
(Together)
And in years to come we'll reminisce
(E/J)How we came to love
(G/A)And grew and grew love

(Together)Since first we knew love through True Love's Kiss!

yay T3!!!

2007-11-17T14:26:00.000+08:00

yippeee... today got a chance to visit the new T3 with mumsy. woah, the place is really nice and beautiful. they must have spent a hell lot of money to wayang the whole place so nicely. so many lifts, so much glass.

the inside was pretty impressive. seems like they adopting the US idea on the gate holding room.. now, instead of 1 or 2 gates to a holding room, its not 4 gates to a holding room. so its nice big sprawling on the inside. yup...

think the disappointing thing was the skytrain ride from t2 to t3. haha had lots of expectations about it, but well, nothing much leh. the train just moves so slowly and doesn't really speed a lot, unlike the old one.

speaking of trains, i've gotta sit on this one:

~ALL ABOARD!!!~

lol

Stupid + lousy= me

2007-10-17T20:35:00.000+08:00

yeah man... feel dumb about the way i'm handling lots of the overlays today. Don't even know how to roll up a roll of talc nicely; waste so much paper just to create a checklist that i can do on excel and print onto one bloody piece of paper; why did i bother to label all the talcs SO SO specifically... i mean, in the end, just give out anyone of the same title to the big guys is still same what right?

oh well, my brain is like totally disabled i think. getting more and more blurer and stupid as the days go by. gosh should really sleep early one fine day.

played a bit of frisbee today, cuz hq got some sports day crap for those staying back in camp. played frisbee with the support guys.. so it was random support guys VS mortar. In the 1st match, my team just thrashed mortar like watever. But 2nd game, we were close, but lost to mortar. pretty fun to play with these guys lah. think most of them jc batch like me.. oh well, too bad i won't be able to join them for long.

wonder how the guys in brunei are doing. alpha and those going from hq left on mon; charlie and support left yesterday. haha i was at the airport yesterday actually to send ah q off to melbourne. too bad lah, can't stay on long enough to send the charlie guys off. anywayz, hope they have a meaningful time there.

--------------

History tidbit
The world's first A380 landed in Singapore today!!! Wow wow wee yeah!!!

you wish everything in life were free

2007-10-13T20:27:00.000+08:00

aiyaya!!! checked my payslip today! They minus off 86 bucks for medical co-payment!!! Sian!!! By right, can get 1000+ thx to back-pay, then minus the co-payment, plus all the other unimportant stuff, can only get 900+... pfff

sian ah

young guy among the old folks

2007-10-11T20:05:00.000+08:00

anyone knows what an MRI is? Its magnetic resonance imaging, the use of a nuclear magnetic resonance spectrometer to produce electronic images of specific atoms and molecular structures in solids, especially human cells, tissues, and organs.

That's what dr lo recommended for me so that he could get a closer look at my knee. Sheesh, didn't know he would go to this kind of extent.

Left camp at around 8am, immediately after 1st parade, w/out anytime for breakfast. So poor me set on the no 2 bus all the way with a growling stomach. hmph tried to sleep, but couldn't leh. think i woke up again with a bad headache. Haiz.

When i got to sgh, they asked me to change into this gown for radiology. haha its just the gown and your shoes (plus your underwear) talk about the fashion man... walked out of the changing room feeling quite funny, cuz the gown was meant for aunties, not for young gd-looking shuai ges like yours truky.. xp

as i was waiting, i noticed that i was the youngest patient there. everyone one else was either a senior citizen or middle-aged. made me start to wonder why in the world i'm here lor. Only old pple go for these kind of checks and such.. What bout me? Feeling old as well.

Ok so after waiting for close to 1.5 hours (dun forget i haven't had breakfast, and lunch time was soon), those slow pokes finally called me in. Honestly, I thought it was gonna be some normal x-ray shoot... until i saw this damn big machine sitting in front of me. gosh its that kind of scanning system in which you slot your body into the machine. woah felt scared. worse still, they gave me a shower cap and ear plugs (cuz it might get a bit loud). my heart was racing. how bad could it get...

the feeling was kind of weird when they slotted my body into the machine. don't know if the machine would shoot some labour or something at my knee, causing me to jump or something. worse, the doctor attending to me said that it would be 40min long and i had to keep my knee still throughout.. :o

actually, once the thing started, it just churned a few loud beeps and random sounds. didn't feel anything at all. couldn't sleep, cuz the thing was pretty loud..

when the bill came, my jaw dropped... Total cost: $692 smackaroonees!!! sheesh damn ex.. thankfully can claim all the way ah, else my one month pay can't support me seah...

went for lunch with pappy at don. mmm the best bulgogi beef rice can be found at DON Noodle Bistro at Tanglin Mall. yup...

rushed back to camp after that to move on with life....

Leave woes and a wasted leg

2007-10-04T19:23:00.000+08:00

yeah, when i checked the amount of leave i had for the remainder of the year last week, i was shocked that i had only a meagre 3 days left. like, wth!!! dunno why my bmt coy took off 8 days of my leave, when my oc promised at least 1 day off. plus, other pple from other coys only had 5 days subtracted. grrr so unfair and screwed up!!!

anywayz, highlighted this problem to my DY today.. of course, he trusted me, the truthful, honest spec ;p , and gave me 3 days off... So yay, I'm on par with everyone else. YESH!!!

went to see my specialist yesterday, after ops audit... tried to sleep on the no 2 bus all the way there, but it wasn't as comfortable as taking a 74 from skool to macritchie, interestingly. got off the bus slightly groggy, but well, had an appt to make.

so yup, since dr lo was busy, another one of the specialists came in to see me. He did a quick measure of my thighs and realised that my right quadriceps was only half the size of my left quadriceps!!! WOah, dr lo didn't expect it to be that bad either. quite jialat for a 19 year old, when you should be running more and enjoying your youth. Gosh, feel like a senior citizen with some chronic knee problem! Gasp!! anywayz, he gave me another 3 weeks ex rmj. wonder if the MO will see it the same way... still, most importantly, will my leg ever return to normal??? wanna do more sports when i go to uni, before the rest of my youth is sapped away..

----------------------

~youth is fleeting~

SAT woes

2007-09-30T20:19:00.000+08:00

i've been steadily scoring poorer and poorer in my mock SAT tests. in fact, in my last test, i only scored like 600 for maths. i had 10 consecutive qns wrong for identifying sentence errors, and my essay is getting nowhere. to make things worse, next week is my actual SAT, and i'm aiming for stanford. hmmm, wonder if i can still make it...

~shakes head and sighs~

anywayz, here's a quik quiz.. very obvious one. answer all the qns first b4 looking at the answers:

Qns:
1) How long did the Hundred Years War last?
2) Which country makes Panama hats?
3) From which animal do we get catgut?
4) In which month do Russians celebrate the October Revolution?
5) What is a camel's hair brush made of?
6) The Canary Islands in the Pacific are named after what animal?
7) What was King George VI's first name?
8) What color is a purple finch?
9) Where are Chinese gooseberries from?
10) What is the color of the black box in a commercial airplane?

eh.. dun cheat!!!

Ans:
1) 116 years, from 1337 to 1453
2) Ecuador
3) From sheep and horses
4) November. The Russian calendar was 13 days behind ours
5) Squirrel fir
6) The Latin name was Insularia Canaria - Island of the Dogs
7) Albert. When he became king in 1936, he respected the wish of Queen Victoria that no future king should ever be called Albert
8) Distinctively crimson
9) New Zealand
10) Orange

~oops not so straightforward yeah?~

screwed up overtime

2007-09-28T23:50:00.000+08:00

yup that's wat happened lah... my branch had to stay back for some prep with our bosses to prepare for an upcoming audit. prior to this day, we've been doing lots of drawing and tracing. wah do so much until my eyeball gonna pop out liao.

so on this fateful night, we worked hard and toiled on until 10.30pm.. cuz of this, i failed to see ms goon off at the airport. could sense the sadness in her voice when i called her to tell her that i would not be able to make it. yeah understand the feeling. zheng books out on sat night, chork on overseas training, vanessa overseas, bernie with an upset stomach.. so think i was her 'last hope'.. gasp!!

haiz wat to do leh.. anyway, hope ms goon wil enjoy herself at cambridge. haha must send back some photos of your blonde classmates yeah? haha

just so blessed

2007-09-27T19:59:00.000+08:00

wow wow wee yea... went to DON at tanglin mall for dinner with popo and yeye.. had taht korean bulgogi beef rice thingey... ummm... damn shiok and nice. filling too... the nice sunny side-up egg on the top adds to the stickiness of the rice, just the way i like it.

did a bit of window shopping after dinner. walked past 'that cd shop' and heard those kind of familiar tunes that you usually hear on 90.5 and on tv ads, but never knew the title. (oh yeah, for those who didn't know, i'm an oldie fan. lol) walked in and.. JACKPOT. the whole album had all those popular songs that have lasted through the ages and have been used countless times on tv... like 'music to watch girls by' (interestingly, that's the title of the album by high society) just heard a few of the songs and went "wow! must really get this album"

then the big heart-stabber came when i saw the price tag. bleh... 36 bucks!!! hmmm gotta consider.. but then, quite suddenly, popo just took one album of the rack, asked me if i liked it, and immediately ran to the cashier to pay for it. i was like "woah! that's fast!" and the album was mine... wow, how deep is their love for me

you know, i must be really blessed... did some reflection just now, thinking how good the Good Lord has been to me, even though i've been disobedient and simply a wretched person. He's given me such great parents who love and support me all the way; loving grandparents to shower even more love on me; good health, a house to live in; great pals in camp too... what more can i ask...

yeah wat more can i ask, except for the Good Lord to continue to draw me close to Him...

------------------

ONE DAY

More than I could hope or dream of,

You want to pour your favour on me.

One day in the house of God is,

better than a thousand days in the world.

CHORUS:

So blessed I can't contain it.

So much I gotta give it away.

Your love has taught me to live now.

You are more than enough for me.

something's missing

2007-09-24T19:16:00.000+08:00

yeah.. feeling the pinch once again for not persevering.

the other sgts were teaching their guys some stuff, something that i would have liked to do. but well, guess i'll never have the chance to do it, since i don't have my own men to look after.

still, i was able to walk around after lunch to kaypoh at their coy line. taught the guys some wrong stuff which i later corrected. (prob its a good thing i didn't teach them anything) haha so much for being a TO... lol

Happy Birthday Pappy!!!

2007-09-23T18:51:00.000+08:00

Gee, Dad is really getting old. yi4 zhuan2 yan3 (in a flash of an eye), he's 49, and having lots of white hair. haha must be the stress at work that he goes through each day. he's been complaining a bit about work and wants to get out of it. oh well, he calls it a mid-life change (something to that extent lah) .. as a good son, i just accept it as his wish, since its his life. yup...

so today, to celebrate, we went out with popo and yeye to colbar, near temasek club. apparantly, this place was an officer's mess in some camp last time. then with the construction of the semi-expressway near aye, they shifted there lor. haha the chinese food there was really good, better than chin chin to be precise. price was a bit steep, but well, now with gst going up, inflation is settiling in.

on a side note, think we were the only table eating chinese food; everyone else was going western, so yup think that's what we'll do next week =)

on a separate note, at bs today, got to share a bit of my heart with jonas about my throwing in the towel early problem. oh wll, at least feel better that yup, can share it with someone lah...

you know, though i've confessed that i may have been disobedient, and i know that the good Lord has forgiven me, i still feel unworthy of Him. honestly, i feel that He's still somehow pissed at me. maybe it's just me thinking too much, but hey, when your friend pissed you off, won't you still remain grouchy about it for a few days, even though you may have forgiven him?

Nah, i don't think God's like that... Thank God for that

------------------

11Jesus continued: "There was a man who had two sons. 12The younger one said to his father, 'Father, give me my share of the estate.' So he divided his property between them.
13"Not long after that, the younger son got together all he had, set off for a distant country and there squandered his wealth in wild living. 14After he had spent everything, there was a severe famine in that whole country, and he began to be in need. 15So he went and hired himself out to a citizen of that country, who sent him to his fields to feed pigs. 16He longed to fill his stomach with the pods that the pigs were eating, but no one gave him anything.
17"When he came to his senses, he said, 'How many of my father's hired men have food to spare, and here I am starving to death! 18I will set out and go back to my father and say to him: Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. 19I am no longer worthy to be called your son; make me like one of your hired men.' 20So he got up and went to his father. "But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him.
21"The son said to him, 'Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son.[b]'
22"But the father said to his servants, 'Quick! Bring the best robe and put it on him. Put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. 23Bring the fattened calf and kill it. Let's have a feast and celebrate. 24For this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.' So they began to celebrate.

-Luke 15:11-24 (NIV)

35So do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded.

36You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised.

37For in just a very little while, "He who is coming will come and will not delay.

38But my righteous one[f] will live by faith.

And if he shrinks back,

I will not be pleased with him."[g]

39But we are not of those who shrink back and are destroyed,

but of those who believe and are saved.

Split away suddenly

2007-09-19T19:37:00.000+08:00

FINALLY, got a chance to see the physiotherapist. wah she quite pretty and young one leh... haha... quite nice also.. think she was able to diagnos my problem more accurately then the other specialists i've seen so far.

yeah, now just me and my buddy, together with the others in my branch. Gee i miss the time we new commanders could just be together in the bunk, talking cock with each other, comparing how screwed up our lives are, or just supporting each other, either through prayer or just waking each other up on time...

so yup, both of us will be the boss of our bunk now... gotta go clean up the bunk too. so freakin dusty...

well, gonna miss the good ol' times... but err come to think of it, its only just 3 weeks together
---------------------

haha i like this m1 ad... heard it was the indian restaurant owner who thought out the whole idea.. real smartz..

LOL

choices and stubborness

2007-09-17T19:14:00.000+08:00

hey yo... its great being able to just blog here without anyone disturbing you. haha

so yup, i'm out of sispec and now at my home unit, the place where i'll be for the next 1 year and two more months. its an infantry unit by the way, and well, that means more chionging all the way.

anyway, went to see a specialist about my knee. interestingly he didn't ask me to go for an x-ray to see if my condition got worse. But oh well, after a few leg 'tests', he recommended 6 weeks rmj to go rest the poor knee before flying off to brunei.

Pretty thankful for that, cuz well, at least i get the rest from all the rushing that i thought i would have to face in the unit (just like bmtc and sispec). Interestingly enough, unit life really isn't so bad after all. On the contrary, there's quite a fair bit of free time, so haha not that bad after all.

More interestingly, into the first week of unit life, my RSM told me that cuz of my condition, I might get posted to be an int spec. Haha guess the amount of joy I felt after that. whee at last a chance to try something different and new.

however, my posting still wasn't confirmed yet, until further into the month when everyone else was slotted in nicely. so I did have the worry that, hey, i may not get what i want.

so what did i do about it? just persisted in prayer for that whole week, pleading with God that He would grant me my dream post. and in fact, that was the first thing on my list each night.

you may say i may be a very pious, religious person, but hey, that's where i think i crashed and burned badly. cuz in my prayers, i was just stubbornly praying that i would get what i want, instead of praying, "Oh Lord, let Your will be done' Worse still, i kept pleading for my request to be fulfilled, knowing full well that what i was doing was wrong. i mean, i did ponder to myself that by just letting God decide where i go to, i may get a better deal in the long run. but, i guess i just chose to throw in the towel along the way, and quit the path of faithfulness towards my God.

I feel ashamed... ashamed at cutting down my own cross

Well, i've gotten what i want now, but i'm beginning to feel the pains (and regrets) of stubbornly choosing my own path. I'm now separated from my pals who came here together with me from hotel platoon 3. and well, i really treasure these guys (bk, meng hwee, weijun, jar-min), but gotta let go of them now as they trudge out their own paths in their own company. also, i have no section to lead. wonder if it is a good thing or not, but well, guess i missed the essence of being in an unit.

thankfully, God still never forgot my fear of loneliness; Joel also got posted along with me. well, at least someone else I can talk to, but well, 2 guys tend to get familiar with each other too quickly, and then we realise that there's nothing else left to talk about. that's when the coldness sets in again. sigh... hope it stays wrong between us...

do hope my pals are having a great time together with their company and each other.

~Oh God, don't abandon me~

----------------------------

8 "Hear, O my people, and I will warn you— if you would but listen to me, O Israel
9 You shall have no foreign god among you;

you shall not bow down to an alien god.
10 I am the LORD your God,

who brought you up out of Egypt.

Open wide your mouth and I will fill it.
11 "But my people would not listen to me;

Israel would not submit to me.
12 So I gave them over to their stubborn hearts to follow their own devices.
13 "If my people would but listen to me,

if Israel would follow my ways,
14 how quickly would I subdue their enemies

and turn my hand against their foes!
15 Those who hate the LORD would cringe before him,

and their punishment would last forever.
16 But you would be fed with the finest of wheat;

with honey from the rock I would satisfy you."

-Psalm 81: 8-16

Back again

2007-08-20T19:48:00.000+08:00

ok now blogging for the sake of blogging.l haha so i'm now using one of the comps at rocky hill mess. our dear OC is gonna sing shang4 hai3 tan1... like wth.. lol...

ok so gonna have some fun now, won't take too much of guang hao's time.. thx lots !!!

cheers

p.s pay you??? you WISH AH!!!

SURPRISE

2007-07-22T01:19:00.000+08:00

gee... once again, using the airport terminal to blog now. Heading off for taiwan now. For what purpose? shhh.... can't say anything about it..

oh well, feeling rather quesy about all this. I mean, am i ready for it?oh well, we'll see....

can't wait to get my own laptop, then i can continue blogging normally...

ok going on msn to see if anyone is online... to those who seee this new post, well, that shows that i'm still keen on blogging, just that my mum's laptop sux,and well no time lah..

God bless

YAY!!! Can FINALLY post!!!

2006-12-06T13:54:00.000+08:00

phew.. finally logged into blogger in beta, at the free web access terminal at the budget terminal.. lol...

think my mum's laptop super screwed up. Of all things, cannot post. So yeah that's why its been super stagnant all this while... anyone has idea on how to fix my cookies?

anyway, i think i may wanna have a switch soon... may want to change to some other blog provider like livejournal or something. Any recommendations from any of you?

ok ok gtg and run about to explore the budget terminal. will try and talk more when i come back...

Kor Prajao way porn!!!

ok better than i thot

2006-11-21T13:17:00.000+08:00

yeah.. maths 's' today lor... haha thot i would be sleeping through most of the paper, cuz i was super sleepy this morning, with my arms aching like crazy (dunno why, but i dreamt that i was helping some hospital test their new blood pressure machine. the pads go on both arms, and they squeeze real hard...)

surprisingly, though i couldn't complete an entire whole qns (unlike those maths philes), I could do at least 2/3 of the whole thing... yup fully awake too during the paper. quite a miracle somehow, cuz I only slept at 11.30 last nite... hmph

so yup, thank you God!!!

oh by the way, does anyone have the lyrics for 'endless love', the song by jackie chan in the myth; also, anyone got lyrics for qian li zhi wai also? haha pass to me in hard copy if you can yeah? my comp can't read chinese =(

kk few more days left.. let's go sleep...

zzzzzz

f for f maths

2006-11-20T21:17:00.000+08:00

yeah... f for f maths... screwed mechanics... and the stats qns were weird man... i got a 2 sample Z test...

grrr.... cambridge is getting weirder...

Phew... one more week leh

2006-11-17T18:39:00.000+08:00

aiya... past few weeks have been like bitter-sweet... maybe i just whine about a few stuff that i can remember lah:

phys got 6 mistakes for mcq liao. then phys paper 2 was like a mad killer lah. Their beginning to ask really weird and random questions. Eg: "Define the radian!!! Like huh? Isn't this a freaking maths question???? And even if it is, maths will never ask this kind of rubbish...

screwed chem paper 3. spent too much time on the first question on electrolysis. cathode reaction is wrong. its not H+ lah... then no time for the inorg section, which I usually do last.

ok on the good side, f maths was do-able. Think I can get my first A, in like the whole row of EEEEs and an O. Ok B is fine lah... But real scared that they will slaughter us in paper 2.

Oh and the biggest joke of them all: the topic that got the entire engin fac so worked up
(esp Medusa Beethoven) DID NOT COME OUT!!! Wah stupid lah... Waste so many weeks on lectures, extra lectures, tutorials.. extra lessons with jonas (which really helped a lot ;op ) and having to tolerate Beethoven's non-stop ranting on how she has to 'shou shi can ju' (clean up the mess). haha lol

seems like everyone is still in the exam mood and mugging hard... think i should do the same too...

yup even good old raffles is into it too

All the BEST!!!

2006-11-02T14:13:00.000+08:00

haha yup one of my biggest worries is over!!! spent the past 4 days just purely mugging for gp. wonder if it was a good idea, but well, gp rather important in getting the course you want in NUS. Heard from my pastor that those who dun do well for gp must bid for their course, while those who scored for gp were 'assigned' the courses they wanted. so yup, cannot overlook gp.

oh well, i did qns 3, if you are curious. AQ was weird. summary is tough...

oh well, anyway, gotta do the next thing on my schedule, which is to..... burn my gp notes. oh but before that, yeah just wanna wish you guys:

God's eagle so that you can SOAR!

and God's rook for security and peace of mind..

Yup mug on hard. God bless =)

-------------------------------------------------------------
30 Even youths grow tired and weary,
and young men stumble and fall;

31 but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint.

Isaiah 40: 30-31
-----

10 The name of the LORD is a strong tower;
the righteous run to it and are safe.

Proverbs 18:10

disillusioned

2006-10-27T18:58:00.000+08:00

you know, the a-levels are coming close. ideally, i thought i should be more or less on full steam, ploughing through my notes and my books, revising every single detail and mechanism, practicing lots more past year papers, wasting less time.

of course, that's an ideal. and in real life, we always deviate from the ideal scenario. I dunno.. I really wanna push on, but i feel so sian, so tired. like doing the same thing all day long..

the other thing that puts me off is my speed at doing things. i dunno, somehow quite a few pple can like do 2 papers and mug 1 chem topic a day, for eg. then here's the not-so-smart me doing 1 chem topic the whole screwed up day.

oh and you know how pissful it is to keep practicing at something you know you are weak at, hoping you will improve. and lo and behold, you don't. and then the smarty pants all around you are like scoring so well, so much better than you.

haiz... guess i should aim slightly lower. after all, I'm not the very high standard kinda chap, so why bother to fight my way into such a high standard, high class kinda uni where all the smarty pants all go and then i feel the same thing i've been facing for the past 2 years again 3 years down the road. anyway, what's wrong studying here?

haiz... just dang tired. my eyes especially. mugging like this is gonna make me so short-sighted that i'm as good as blind. yeah, many so many people play so much longer than me and their degree is still 300 to 400, while i haven't played any game in ages and my degree is over 700. haiz unfairness of life.

then again... real life deviates from the ideal, so just live with it...

eye wrinkles

2006-10-23T22:30:00.000+08:00

sian ah... blogger take so long to upload the images i want it to upload. it keeps saying its uploading, circles 1 round, then stops there. oh wait its up now.

haha guess that's what you get when you mug too much huh? just look stoned with huge eyebags.. gosh..

kk go mug...

------------------------------------------

you believe?

:@ contagious :@

2006-10-20T22:27:00.000+08:00

yeah that stupid mask that i got yesterday or 2 days ago when I went to tan tock seng. haha wore that with the raffles sweater. Haha i look my darth varder's doctor with the hood on. hehe

sianz got my enlistment letter on tues. bmtc skool 2... haha heard from my cousin that its the school that they like to show off to parents. it's the school with the nicer cookhouse, and (most importantly) its the school that's closest to the ferry terminal. hahaa so those in skool 1, sorry ah.. must walk further in... much further in... lol

hey tell me if you are in the same skool as me yeah? haha the more the merrier... lol

happy mugging !!!

everything crushing me down

2006-10-09T22:28:00.000+08:00

aiyo trying to complete US uni apps. no time for fluids leh... then gotta see miss wang tml and i haven't prepared much yet. grrr....

oh and i feel sad for you nj pple. your gp compre was like worse than tough. and i thot my skool's one was the worst of the lot... haha...

hey hey dun waste time... go and study!!!

2nd last day of skool

2006-10-05T21:23:00.000+08:00

can you believe it? 2nd last day of school formally. So quick.

Can you even believe that I went to school today with practically 4 hours of free time?! Yup that's true, cuz its only civics as the first period, then GP, which was another free period, and then chem, which was also converted into a free period, and then recess was next.

Oh well, class breakfast first. soooo very nice of Mr Lee to buy so much Tiong Bahru char siew bao, siew mai and other stuff. We also had jiashun's chao fan and potato wedges. Then there was the cake for all the birthday babies from August to October. Gosh you should have seen the cake from Secret Recipe. Wah so sinful!!! The chocolate melts in your mouth literally and the whole cake is just chocolate and cream. Whee... Calories=> Fat!!! =(

Of course, then got the usual concoction by chork for zhong ji mi ma. This time round even better... Got hell lot of stuff, like bits of potato wedge, scrambled eggs, chilli, creamer all thrown into lemon tea. then mr lee halfway through added in chicken skin?! Like yucks man... haha the time i played, never zhong again, so ;op

The concoction, with the chilli, cake, scrambled egg and chicken skin floating

Chork VS Mr Lee.. Who will zhong4?

............................

;op

haha suay lor mr lee... haha but kudos to mr lee and the others for allowing us to have so much fun today...

Oh and yeah nxt time you play game of life, be a tech support. Then you can earn a hell lot when people dunno how to spin the wheel properly. haha that's how i got rich and won everyone, while poor zhiyan was like... well poor.. hehe

----------

Nothing much to say bout NYAA today as well... couldn't shake hands with the president as he was feeling ill, so someone else took over. haiz so wasted, but hope he gets well soon. haha recognised the MC's voice... mum told me later that it was Mr X from 90.5 or sth...

after the ceremony, we just took some party shots here and there in our blazers. yay finally what we have been working hard for has finally paid off..

---------

kk back to the world of dreams

2nd heartbreaker

2006-09-29T17:54:00.000+08:00

yup... officially scraped through gp... my gp grade has been like a sine curve-- up and down, up and down, and this time, its way down...

oh and can't believe I actually wasted my chance of going home early today, when I had the chance. CAn't believe I actually wasted 2.5 hours playing hearts when I got such LOUSY grades!!! wah rao feel like slapping myself..

Haha sorry guys if I seem to be whining. Thanks for teaching me the game and for letting me shoot all of you unknowingly that time. Still wondering how I was able to do it... -scretches head-

Anywayz, gmail is screwed. Can't log in, so send emails to my other emails for now yeah? And yeah, my blog design badly screwed cuz I can't find a good file hosting service. Anyone knows of a good and FREE one? thx

Oh and err... dun think I'll be coming online often for now, prob till after the As, so yup may not update so much... May upload jokes once in a while to help you guys destress yeah? HAha

kk all the best to the guys at ac having their final years. Meanwhile, study hard and play harder after that =)

I found the original version of 'We didn't start the fire'. well haha enjoy it. lyrics provided too...

bye for now. God bless ;op

WE DIDN'T START THE FIRE
by Billy Joel

Harry Truman, Doris Day, Red China, Johnnie Ray
South Pacific, Walter Winchell, Joe DiMaggio

Joe McCarthy, Richard Nixon, Studebaker, television
North Korea, South Korea, Marilyn Monroe

Rosenbergs, H-bomb, Sugar Ray, Panmunjom
Brando, "The King and I" and "The Catcher in the Rye"

Eisenhower, vaccine, England's got a new queen
Marciano, Liberace, Santayana goodbye

CHORUS
We didn't start the fire
It was always burning
Since the world's been turning
We didn't start the fire
No we didn't light it
But we tried to fight it

Joseph Stalin, Malenkov, Nasser aand Prokofiev
Rockefeller, Campanella, Communist Bloc

Roy hn, Juan Peron, Toscanini, dacron
Dien Bien Phu falls, "Rock Around the Clock"

Einstein, James Dean, Brooklyn's got a winning team
Davy Crockett, Peter Pan, Elvis Presley, Disneyland

Bardot, Budapest, Alabama, Krushchev
Princess Grace, "Peyton Place", trouble in the Suez

CHORUS

Little Rock, Pasternak, Mickey Mantle, Kerouac
Sputnik, Chou En-Lai, "Bridge on the River Kwai"

Lebanon, Charlse de Gaulle, California baseball
Starkweather, homicide, children of thalidomide

Buddy Holly, "Ben Hur", space monkey, Mafia
Hula hoops, Castro, Edsel is a no-go

U-2, Syngman Rhee, payola and Kennedy
Chubby Checker, "Psycho", Belgians in the Congo

CHORUS

Hemingway, Eichmann, "Stranger in a Strange Land"
Dylan, Berlin, Bay of Pigs invasion

"Lawrence of Arabia", British Beatlemania
Ole Miss, John Glenn, Liston beats Patterson

Pope Paul, Malcolm X, British politician sex
JFK, blown away, what else do I have to say

CHORUS

Birth control, Ho Chi Minh, Richard Nixon back again
Moonshot, Woodsto/ck/, Watergate, punk rock
Begin, Reagan, Palestine, terror on the airline
Ayatollah's in Iran, Russians in Afghanistan

"Wheel of Fortune", Sally Ride, heavy metal, suicide
Foreign debts, homeless vets, AIDS, crack, Bernie Goetz
Hypodermics on the shores, China's under martial law
Rock and roller cola wars, I can't take it anymore

CHORUS

We didn't start the fire
But when we are gone
Will it still burn on, and on, and on, and on...

EEEE-O

2006-09-28T21:52:00.000+08:00

yup... finally broke my trend of Es for f maths. And guess what I got? Yup, you're right I'm that suay. a BIG FAT O.

nuff said... anyway, A for 9233, B for chem. kk that's it...

oh for those who can't seem to see the We Live In Singapura video, click here for the same version, but different file.. should download faster i think

meanwhile, go laugh at this. took it from jkum's blog:

~eeee(y)o~

Class Outing.. And yeah: Just... worried

2006-09-27T22:01:00.000+08:00

thot i would be late for class outing. End up, when I got to Dhoby Ghaut, only Esther was there. So ok, nvm just wait for the others, while listening to those cool African music. Hey seriously quite good you know, their form of rather rhythimic music.

Anyway, about 10 of us met up and we decided to go Pizza Hut for lunch. And as usual, while waiting for the food to come, dear chork had to come up with some concoction of his as a forfeit for 'zhong ji mi ma' Oh well, trust him to come up with something that makes you squeal when you smell it, let alone taste it. Luckily for me, I never got it. Haha poor est, like kena 3 times. Good on ya mate =)

------

Contents: water, coke, red chilli powder (lots of it), pepper (hell lot more), chork's evil intent on sabo-ing us

------

so ok, after lunch, so many pple had to zhao off lah. Oh what the heck, so sad, cuz got so few pple watching movie with us.

anywayz, 'the devil wears prada' is quite good. haha admire Miranda.. tough lady, though she can give you the I-want-to-strangle-her feeling. On the whole really good show. Reminds you of the most important things in life yeah?

Oh well, back home, sudden feeling of worrying again. US apps and all the shit I have to do for that, UK apps (and all the shit as well), then gotta study for A-Levels, which is not far off. and there's still linear spazes that I'm pretty confused. err... HELP!!!

Problem is, I damn scared that I spend so much time on these few things that I totally screw my A-Levels lor. then can't go anywhere, prob except MIT (of the east)

sigh.. just worried...

------------------------------------------

~Oh by the way, I spoke to Bernoulli yesterday, and he advised me, "Son, you shd do your papers fast otherwise the pressure on you will be greater."~

an overview

2006-09-26T11:48:00.000+08:00

Oh well... here's a quick overview of the past 2 days

1) Sunday 24th Sept 06

Nothing much today. Just felt like taking a walk at Raffles City. So yup went there with Pappy to walk around at the new area at Basement 1. Quite nice leh... I had that sudden desire to listen to African music, so i spotted these 2 albums at That CD Shop. Had a preview of them. Quite nice lah actually. So yup Dad said he would get them for me at That CD Shop near his office tomorrow, cuz he can get some discount over there.

huh? why get AFrican music? Dunno leh.. Just that sudden desire to listen to something 'cultural', i mean, today's music got so much of the standard rock and roll, piano, electric guit etc. So yup thought i gain some form of culture in this rather culture-less country.

2) Monday 25th Sept 06

HAha went back to AC to meet up with Jonas and have a crash course on Linear Spazes. Wah he quite good man... the 10 axioms actually quite ok one lah... then linear independence and spanning also quite easy one ah, come to think of it. no wonder some pple in my class sort of fell in love with linear spazes. yucks

hehe after that took a joy ride on the BP LRT. Yay haven't done that in years already. Took some party shots along the way, and i was quite lucky, cuz on my 2nd round, i set on a 2-car train. Actually not much diff lah, still moves the same way. Hmmm didn't know they used Platform 2 at CCK station also. Prob cuz it was peak hour, so yup no choice just pile everything in. Haha lucky me to be able to see the train enter that part of the station.

Gosh, at the end of my last round, my legs were so numb from sitting cross legged at the front of the train. When I tried to get up and walk, i couldn't feel my left leg at all. Nearly lost my balance, cuz i felt my left looked like rubber, collapsing under my weight at any time. Gross!!! So i had no choice but to hope out of the train. Think the other passengers thought i was crazy or some retard trying to be independent. lol

--------

hmmm.. been thinking about stuff lately. Feeling prayer-less these past few days. Dunno why. Things are being taken away from me. And i gotta do other stuff assignments as well. Thing is, i just wanna focus on my work now, cuz hey that is important. And yeah, i need a break, not more work to keep me occupied...

Left or Straight?

Well there's a hell lot more choices in life

So stick around with your pals, cuz 2 is better than one =)

Post-prelim thoughts

2006-09-23T23:22:00.000+08:00

Well.. yeah prelims are over, and guess no one feels like talking about them. Haha but i have some thought lah.

This is one exam in which I kept making the same mistake again and again. Yeah leaving all the studying to the last minute. Of course, the excuse is that the school took so damn long to teach everything, so i had to still do catch up rather than any revision at all.

Haha but somehow, through the exam, could sense God helping me those spastically tough qns, prob esp during phys paper 1 and 2. can't remember exactly how lah, but yeah through the exam, can really feel our good Lord helping me through. So yup thank you Lord for helping me out here.

Hope it was the same for you. Hope it'll happen again during the A-levels itself.

Meanwhile, i wanna have fun...

It's over

2006-09-22T22:32:00.000+08:00

YAY!!! Phys 'S' over liao. In other words, this crappy prelims are over!!!. Yay I'm literally over the fence!!! Yeah not the moon yet, cuz still got to go through this nightmare again when A-Levels come. Grrr....

Actually, got some stuff about the exams i wanna talk about, but i'll do it tml lah.

oh and yup fixed the problem on my blog liao... didn't upload the css file, so that's what caused the screw up. enjoy yeah?

meanwhile, for you stressful people out there going through promos or final years and need to destress, see these links below. Quite farnie i thot:

1) Beerfest movie trailer

2) Some Singapore Song- sang by Hossan Leong

watch it before they are gone. yupz have fun and all ze best!!! =)

--------------------

"i live in Singapura"

sianz.. s papers left

2006-09-19T18:35:00.000+08:00

alrite, s papers left. nothing much to say lah. screwed f maths again. dunno why, but yesterday, after doing some past year papers from sr and meridian, i somehow lost confidence in mechanics, the topic that i've been rather confident at all this time. And by some inverse relationship, my confidence in stats increased, but very slightly though... hmmm some relationship.

oh well, just left s papers. err anyone has any advice or idea on how to mug this?

oh well here's a random photo:

taken on the very old 317. volvo B10M, body make is by Alexander i think. yup the one that rattles, whose seats are still the sticky dark blue upholstery, and just windows, no aircon. oh and the bus stopping strip still works, you know that black strip on the ceiling of the bus? yupz built to last, these old babes...

and below is a really nice story.. hope you enjoy it:

A group of professional people posed this question to a group of 4 to 8
year-olds, "What does love mean?"
The answers they got were broader and deeper than anyone could have
imagined. See what you think:

"When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her
toenails anymore.

So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got
arthritis too. That's love." Rebecca- age 8

"When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different.
You just know that your name is safe in their mouth." Billy - age 4

"Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and
they go out and smell each other." Karl - age 5

"Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries
without making them give you any of theirs." Chrissy - age 6

"Love is what makes you smile when you're tired." Terri - age 4

"Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before
giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK." Danny - age 7

"Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen." Bobby - age 7 (Wow!)

"If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who
you hate," Nikka - age 6 (we need a few million more Nikka's on this planet)

"Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday."
Noelle - age 7

"Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends
even after they know each other so well." Tommy - age 6

"During my piano recital, I was on a stage and I was scared. I looked at
all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling.
He was the only one doing that. I wasn't scared anymore." Cindy - age 8

"My mommy loves me more than anybody .
You don't see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night." Clare - age 6

"Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken." Elaine-age 5

"Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is
handsomer than Brad Pitt ." Chris - age 7

"Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all
day." Mary Ann - age 4

"I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes
and has to go out and buy new ones." Lauren - age 4

"When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars
come out of you." (what an image) Karen - age 7

"You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you mean it. But if you mean
it, you should say it a lot. People forget." Jessica - age 8

And the final one -- Author and lecturer Leo Buscaglia once talked about a
contest he was asked to judge.

The purpose of the contest was to find the most caring child.

The winner was a four year old child whose next door neighbor was an
elderly gentleman who had recently lost his wife.

Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the old gentleman's yard,
climbed onto his lap, and just sat there.

When his Mother asked what he had said to the neighbor, the little boy
said, "Nothing, I just helped him cry"

When there is nothing left but God, that is when you find out that God is
all you need.

life still goes on

2006-09-14T18:34:00.000+08:00

yup... nothing much going on... life still goes on

a real Uncle

2006-09-13T23:13:00.000+08:00

few mins left till i turn 18.... not really excited or happy whatsoever, cuz:

1) It's now right in the middle of my PRELIMS!!!
2) I'm officially an adult( ie do sth wrong, go straight to jail)

so as an adult, you are expected to behave more maturely, be more weary of your actions. when you do silly things, people will hound you down because of that.

aiya... there are still so much things that I wanna do as a youth, but guess its not so possilbe now. what with the responsibilities of studying, then working to support yourself etc.. in this little pressure cooker, how to do so much things at one time?

oh well... i'm aging... and my youth is flying away... help! Preserve me, my strength, life is zapped from the worries of the world!!! and those spastic papers!! Grr

6-2+4-4=?

2006-09-09T20:06:00.000+08:00

oh well bq today... decided to take a short breather to go down and take a look at the results and support support lah.. didn't know this breather was gonna be shorter than I thought.

so ok, on the whole, the top team was 4th in Singapore, so YAY!!! -charades, confetti exploding- Yup good job guys... hope you guys did really have a jolly jolly good time, like I did when i was in sec 2 and sec 3. yup guess these are the kind of stuff that really makes our time in the 12th so much more memorable and enjoyable yeah? guess its also these kind of events that really bond the different cohorts together, yeah? so yup hope you guys continue to stay close to one another ok?

well, the road home came so much faster than expected. thot i could just stay back talk cock with the guys, but well, it wasn't gonna be the case. sigh, so close yet so far.

you know, it really got me thinking on the way back. am I really supposed to stay on, or just say bye, since i've done my job already? yeah... gotta really pray and seek about this...

-----------------------------------------------------

Mr Kan: Mr Ng, this is our result. Calculate: 6-2+4-4=
Mr NG: Zero ah?
Rest of us: ...
MR Sim: (impersonating Mr Ng) Eh, I don't teach Maths. I teach geo-phy.

LIVE YOUR DREAMS

2006-09-04T22:15:00.000+08:00

yeah guess all of you all have heard the tragic news: World famous crocodile hunter Steve Irwin passed away this afternoon after being stung in the heart by a stringray while filming for a documentary in the Great Barrier Reef.

Pretty ironic huh? That the crocodile hunter passed away because of a stringray??? And furthermore, he got stung in his heart... wah like so zhun.. so accurate...

you know, this got me wondering again about the great fragileness of life. You can be enjoying what you do this moment and then you're dead in the next minute. phew pretty scary huh? and yet, I guess the hunter still lived his life without regrets, for he has been doing what he has always wanted to do for the rest of his life, ain't it? just that, well, didn't think he would have wanted to leave this world so suddenly, so quickly.. but it has never been up to us to decide when we die...

So yeah, guess the lesson for us is to just treasure the life that we have today. to be thankful that we still wake up the next morning, ready to face a new day; to be thankful that we can still breathe, see, smell, hear, talk etc... yeah all the small things of life that make it all the more worth living...

and yeah guess one thing we can thank dear Steve Irwin is his courage to live his dreams. That's right,

LIVE YOUR DREAMS

else life also pretty sian ah?

CROCS RULE!!!

-------------------------------------

"He died doing what he enjoyed doing best"

CROCS RULE!!

now give me a kiss

lol

Bit of relief

2006-08-28T22:33:00.000+08:00

okiez gp's over.. lol thought it was quite ok lah. was banking quite a bit on poverty after reading through the zai notes that mdm ho gave to us. sigh, too bad nothing on poverty came out for essay. Ended up doing the last question on youths.. Something like youths are self-centred and cannot be relied upon to build the country's future or something like that. So just crap all the way lah. hehe at least I could think of things to crap.

Compre quite ok also lah.. haha at least my knowledge on poverty came in for one of the 3 mark questions. Just vomit everything I knew about it. Once again, no time to finish AQ. Oh can anyone tell me the meaning of predilection? A bit tough to do the summary when you don’t know what its really asking for yeah?

Anywayz… here’s perhaps a bit of an update about the past few weeks when I was inactive.

On pre-NDP day, went back to ac to ask for testimonials from dessy and mr seah.. wonder if they wrote it yet??? oh and i took some party shots too, all on my NEW PHONE ah:

haha see some new balcony to watch the entire astro turf. convenient huh?

see.. sprawling roof to play soccer… wah envious…

lovely view from the top of the IB block...

haha see the lizaed on the car tyre.. felt bored one day during recess..

ok gtg... trying to sleep at ten everynight so that i won't feel tired out early in the morning when the paper starts...

time check: 10.30pm.. -gasps-

too frekin tired

2006-08-18T17:04:00.000+08:00

been sleeping at like past 2 the past two nights, getting my stupid portfolio ready. grrr... sigh actually wanted to talk about the ndp week, but guess that'll have to wait. real sorrie mates, just simply worn out..

yeah guess you should have realised that my background sort of disappeared... ya think the server that supports my photos crashed, so gotta look for a new one... looks real ugly this thing

Busy lor

2006-08-14T14:06:00.000+08:00

haiz so sadz... HAve so much rubbish to do lor. The stupid 3 best achievements, now done thankfully, personal statements... and the worse of them all... Linear spazes and chi-squared tests tutorial. Then tml got phys as well, so got to do phys tutorial

Its week 8 liao, and well gp is coming soon. But thx to dan brown, i haven't touched a single issue of newsweek. So i guess my general knowledge pretty screwed, and mdm ho say it will be a real toughy. die liao... i just failed my previous essay, cuz i guesss i didn't prepare much..

Real worried. There's just so much things to do, and so little time. Haha so much for my worry that my life would be real boring when term 3 started. =(

ok maybe i'll talk about the ndp week some other time. gotta do math s now. yupz chork said it was quite easy, so i'll attempt to finish as much as possible.

~so busy~

FOP rox!!!

2006-08-04T23:52:00.000+08:00

ok so got there at 5.30pm to start queueing. queue to 6.30pm, felicia not here yet... Think the doors were opened and people were going in already. So poor me had to wait at the same end of the overhead bridge until she came. Oh well by the time she was there, almost the end of the line had gone past me, so I guess I practically wasted my time going there early to queue. =( To confirm that, she told me that one of her friends had already reserved places for us inside, cuz her friend had been queueing since 4.30pm... wah power...

So this band called Christian City Church Band started the session with their reeally really LOUD music. To top it up, we were sitting real close to the stage and the music was blaring over the speakers above us... phew quite jialat... my poor ears nearly went deaf. Then the pple in front of us were jumping through the choruses, so the entire ground was shaking... Oh well just get used to it...

Then the cool bit: Don Moen came to lead too. He sang some of his songs from his previous album "Thank You, Lord" Yup guess that was when my heart was more at rest and I could really sort of worship... I mean his songs are really meant to be personal, between you and God alone, that kind of thing. Guess another reason was because its less rocky and more oldie kind of style.. yeah my kinda style..

Haha then the next part was by this pastor from Argentina, Rev Ed Silvoso. Nice accent... Oh well, his mesage sort of applied to me.. Taken from Judges 6, about Gideon. Ya its not about what happened in the past, not what others think of you, but what God thinks about you. Hey he called Gideon a mighty warrior (v12) right, although Gideon seemed like a coward then. Well if you read on, Gideon did indeed save his nation from the Midianites. So yup, lesson is: don't look at your situation now or the past, but always believe in what God sees in you now!!!

hmmm Don Moen's new album sounds real nice.. wanna get it!!!

--------------------------------------

THANK YOU LORD
sang by: Don Moen

I come before you today
And there's just one thing that I want to say
Thank you Lord,Thank you Lord
For all you've given to me
For all the blessings I can not see
Thank you Lord,Thank you Lord

With a greatful heart, with a song of praise
with an outstreched arm, I will bless your name

Thank you Lord,I just want to thank you Lord
Thank you Lord,I just want to thank you Lord
Thank you Lord

For all you've done in my lifeY
ou took my darkness and gave me your light
Thank you Lord,Thank you Lord
You took my sin and my shame,
You took my sickness and healed all my pain
Thank you Lord,Thank you Lord

With a greatful heart, with a song of praise
with an outstreched arm, I will bless your name

Thank you Lord,I just want to thank you Lord
Thank you Lord,I just want to thank you Lord
Thank you Lord,I just want to thank you Lord
Thank you Lord,I just want to thank you Lord

KEY CHANGE
Thank you Lord,I just want to thank you Lord
Thank you Lord,I just want to thank you Lord
Thank you Lord,I just want to thank you Lord
Thank you Lord,I just want to thank you Lord
Thank you Lord

my poor eye

2006-08-02T23:59:00.000+08:00

ok just finished what ck wants us to do... now there's just chem, phys and maths left....

you know, for a moment i thot i was about to lose my sight. I dosed off in the library today. Then when I woke up, I realised that my right eye had a bit of trouble focusing correctly. Vision got a bit blur then. Dun remember pressing down on it while dosing off on the table... Thankfully, everything went back to normal after sometime... hm any bio twirts can explain this phenomenon? enlighten me abit :)

seeing is perhaps the greatest gift in the world

E for enough, F for finish

2006-08-01T23:31:00.000+08:00

Lol seems like dad took a great toll on the car today... He practically drove the whole day on a low tank until we ran out of fuel just outside our house. Yup while we were just about to turn in, the engine just died... Starting the ignition again didn't help... then dad realised that we were out fo fuel, and just outside our house somemore.. wah so lucky man... haha could have been worse if we ran out of fuel elsewhere...

thankfully, ah q was at home, so we asked him to buy petrol for us from the petrol kiosk and bring it over, then we manually loaded the fuel in. Bit afraid that there would be sparks that would blow up the car, but thank God, everything went well.. hope dad had enough fuel to bring the car to the petrol station to top it up, else pushing that big mammoth alone, well, might be tough...

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Liang Popo went to work at the petrol station. When she looked at the fuel indicator pointing to E, she asked the driver: "You seow ah? Why pump for what?" The driver looked surprised and said, " Ya what... my tank is empty." Liang popo shot back: " you stupid lah... E for enough, F for finish lah"

Discouraged

2006-07-31T22:47:00.000+08:00

Oh well... sat there during maths lecture trying to understand what beethoven was trying to teach about linear spazes.... but i literally wasted that hour... Gosh that was the most torturing hour ever...

Sigh so much things to worry about.. Uni apps, 3 best achievements, testimonials, mugging for prelims, catching up with tutorials, a-levels.. sigh so much to do...

buay tahan ah!!!

wanna cry ;(

cONCUSSED

2006-07-30T22:21:00.000+08:00

~tired~

HAPPY BIRTHDAE ZHENG!!!

2006-07-29T23:20:00.000+08:00

But Before that, had to attend college day.. Suay ah, got arrowed by CK to attend cuz I came late for his tutorial. Grr!!!

I was seated at the extreme corner of the centre block, near the third floor entrance to LT1. haha nice quiet spot to do lots of things, like read deception point, sms, call pple, all behind the back of this teacher sitting in front of me. Lol

After the whole thing, we met miss wang and congratulated her on her 25 years of service to the college. Haha but I wonder if she is really happy about that? –ponders-
Zheng and I met gra-ce at j8. Had lunch there, then train down to suntec for the scholars choice preview. Quite disappointing, cuz very few organizations were present. No chance to shop around for scholarships.

The seminar quite ok lah… learnt a few tips on taking a great photo of you having the greatest time of your life:

1) Tilt your head to one side
2) Let it drop backwards
3) SMILE!!!

The next part of the seminar was quite meaningful, although the speaker was rather comical. Still, it served to remind us to choose our scholarships with a purpose. To know our higher calling and bear the responsibilities of being a scholar, ie to help the less fortunate while we are successful, else how can they break out of their vicious cycle and move on to achieve greater things?

Went arcade next!! After resting for bout 2 or 3 years, I decided to give crazy taxi another go!! Wah the joy of being crazy again felt damn shiok. Think I stayed on the machine for about half an hour to 40min, which was about half the time I used to spend on it when I was really pro… Not bad, earned about $19k, which gives me an Awesome license!!! Phew, played until I sweat all the way down to my pants. Saw this great pool just below the seam of my shirt. Had to cover that part for the remainder of the night ;)

Dinner at Swiss Culture was nice. Thot the girls were stupid by ordering chicken wings. I mean, hello!!! Chicken wings from a Swiss restaurant.. Might as well go hawker centre eat right??? Anywayz, me and john shared a mixed grill… Food quite nice.. Then had a nice chocolate fondue… totally destroyed gra-ce’s throat. And the bill totally destroyed my budget!

Ah but what the heck. After eating, we went back to challenge each other in Daytona… Wah the rest of them are noobs… I maintained second all the way. Think xinyan was taico while we played the beginner’s round. Just as time was up, he just zoomed past me at the last bend to become first… grr…

Ok then show off my pro skill at the bishi bashi machine.. not bad ah, my skill still quite good after all these years!!!

Oh well, its been a great day.. Hope you had a great day too Zheng!!! God bless ;D

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Q: Why is the cow better than the pig?
A: Because it gives while it is still alive...

BeeZee Me

2006-07-28T22:44:00.000+08:00

Ok very busy, so shall just give a brief overview of the week:

Monday, 24th July
Stayed back in school today to attend the UCAS talk. Haha thought the whole thing was really interesting, cuz the teachers were like real funny all the way, even when scolding. lol... haha when people were still streaming in at 5.15pm, mr purvis was like going in his scotish accent: "I can't wait here all day. There are drinks to be drunk and women to be loved!" Then mr sowden was cracking up lots of funny jokes along the way during the briefing. According to him, if you have heard of a particular UK university before, its bound to be good. Eg if you have heard of Oxford, then it must be good. If you haven't heard of University of Haddlesfield, then it probably is not so good. haha... then while going through Stamford Raffles' UCAS online application, good old Stamfold Raffles' security qns for UCAS: "What JC was named after me?" think you know the answer for that. Oh and good old Stamford Raffles only had 2 O-Levels (wonder how he got into RJ in the first place) and 2 A-Levels (like where can he go after this?) Impressive huh?

Tuesday, 25th July
Beethoven went crazy today. when she entered class, she started ranting about how the single maths people were going to kope LT1 for their extra lecture during the same time slot that she wants to use. then she also lamented about how she was thrown with linear spazes and has to 'clean up the mess'. "Haiz", she said to herself, "I started teaching Further maths 30 years ago well, and now I have to end it badly." Sigh feel sorry for her... guess she's really under stress to complete everything...

Grace, Chork and I went shopping round for Zheng's Bdae Gift. Haiz then along the way, silly chork had to be engrossed with all the eeyores at action city. I know that behind every smart, succesful guy is a little plush soft toy that puts him to sleep each night, but well... chork was like practically head over heels with the eeyores. dunno why, but i thot the eeyores looked quite ugly and inaccurate. hey eeyore has never smiled in any Pooh cartoon. Haha guess what he said on his blog was quite true.. When he's with soft toys, you can't distinguish him between a guy or a girl. haiz typical chork.. so kiddy...

Ok so in the end we got Zheng this book on sudoku. After that, went with gra-ce to go look for wristbands. Along the way, we bought Zheng his bdae card, which I thought was much better than what the kiddy guy wanted to get him. Won't say what it is, else your impression of him might just totally come crashing down ;)

Wednesday, 26th July
Last PE of the year, of my entire life!!! Sigh ended on a rather bad note though. Kind of a shouting match occured between guy and girls when we were forming teams. Then I guess morale just hit rock bottom... Haiz my team got thrashed 4-0 in the first game. Haiz we're noobs lah. Wanted to play the second match, or rather my last match for PE, but then i had to be a referee somewhere else, so yup, could only hope the class played on their best...

Oh well, other than that, there was the nyaa interview. i got lost while trying to find the place, cuz central mall consisted of a few blocks and many entrances. Guess I turned too quickly and entered the main square instead of seeing the chinese temple first. Wah panicked lah! Scared I would be late. Haha then asked for directions from this disney office. the lady behind the counter quite helpful lah. After walking one round around the entire block, I finally found that obscure little staircase that would bring me to the nyaa office. didn't have to wait very long before it was my turn. The interview was quite ok lah... phew at least I handled it well..

Watched Maggie and Me when I got home.. haha we recorded it on our new DVD recorder. wooh!! haha incidentally, the first episode was aired yesterday, and yesterday was the first day of the seventh month. so guess good old maggie had a reason for coming out today huh?

Thursday, 27th July
AMC was terrible. Easy questions dunno how to do. Haiz one phrase to describe myself: a maths student who cannot do maths!

Friday, 28th July
Stayed back to play asshole taiti.. Wah i was the king for the first few rounds while doing M10 tutorial. Then I got stuck at this question, then I started falling in the hierarchy and finally became an asshole!!! Wah rao suay ah...

linear spaces

2006-07-24T23:24:00.000+08:00

tough topic this one... yupz hard time understanding it..

dunno if i should just give up this topic and salvage the others. haha but then beethoven say that if we give up linear spaces and give up complex numbers, we might as well give up further maths entirely. lol...

oh well, 3 hours of beethoven today. one more hour of beethoven tomorrow. spent like 45min doing one question on hypothesis testing. Wah rao... concept so chim one...

oh on a sidenote, stupid tagboard's screwed. Think the entire server went down, can't find it online anymore. So yup gotta find a replacement, so hang in there guys... any suggestions?

Just tired

2006-07-21T22:38:00.000+08:00

Oh boy... Not much mood to do anymore work. I can literally feel myself suffocating under the great rush of stuff to do. The endless stack of prelim papers that now sit on my desk, the jaw-dropping number of tutorials that are trailing, the large amount of stress having to decide which uni to apply for, getting testimonials ready, personal portfolio, whatever, yada yada... wah seh can die ah...

Dunno lah... Like very tired. Just wanna take a break. Yet with every second spent on breaking( ie doing nothing) , the consequence of that wasted second will start snowballing, creating even greater pressure at the end. So on I go, dragging my tired self along the stressful road of the A-levels, struggling to complete those endless tutorials that keep coming and coming like a bullet train, knowing that each time I slow down, time still moves on ruthlessly, forcing you to trail behind even further. So you either catch up, or never be able to join the rest who are ahead of you...

Hmmm feeling dry these days... sigh... jong a tit taan
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1 O God, you are my God,
earnestly I seek you;
my soul thirsts for you,
my body longs for you,
in a dry and weary land
where there is no water.

-Psalm 63:1

Yo Ho!! Yo Ho!! A Screwed up life for me

2006-07-18T23:44:00.000+08:00

came back home sick after watching pirates with kum. actually, think i was sick since monday. bad pain in the stomach, but thought it was because i wasn't eating the correct stuff, or not eating enough.

Went home feeling colder than usual. Mum confirmed it with a fever. Haiz. So got one day mc now... Hope I get well soon..

Then now the most screwed up thing is the fact that i may have to jeopardise either one of these 2 things in the coming months. 1) SATs.. 2) A-Levels... Well you see, the slack me chose to slack and not worry about anything about university applications for the past 7 months. Then suddenly, my parents said that going to UK was not a very good idea, cuz UK unis are not properly funded, better to go US. Perhaps that's why everything is still the same...

So that sent alarm bells ringing, and argh! more stress now.. Gotta study for prelims, a-levels, sats etc etc etc... Argh STRESS can't take it!!!

No wonder I'm ill.. sigh

oh for those of you who didn't catch the link abt the lame ac thing, here it is:

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Yo Ho Yo Ho!
A pirate's life for me

choices choices

2006-07-16T23:19:00.000+08:00

the sudden dawning of the thought that my application for uni will be starting soon sort of frightened me. for a start, i dunno WHAT i wanna study, much less decide where to study... I have NO SATs, i have no idea what to do when the application process starts, i am thoroughly confused as whether to apply now or wait until i have my head botak for 2 years, or apply now and hope that they will reserve a place for me.

The other screwed up thing is also the best 3 achievements thing that MOE wants. Haiz dunno wat to write for that leh... damn scared...

Oh well.. woke up early to send geraldine off at the airport. hope you have a good time there studying ok? send some shots or something to my email. Yupz... email ah?

My Kinda Saturday

2006-07-15T23:15:00.000+08:00

Yeah! Today is MY kind of Saturday!!!

Had a good rest last night. Took my time to wake up, breakfast etc. Then took my time to do QT. Then just slowly do my 2 math tutorials for monday. No stress, just do as much as I can..

I also found time to devour quite a bit of my library book---- Dan Brown's Deception Point. An absolute good read! Keeps you stuck to it for long periods of time, and today was my chance to enjoy it, uninterrupted.

Had dinner at East Coast Park, with popo and yeye. Yup good thing we went early at 6pm so that we could find a place to sit. Half an hour later, and we would be snatching places already! Oh and the place that we had got lots of sea breeze. Shiok!

So disappointing! My favourite prawn mee stall closed already! Couldn't find the old man and his wife there. Hmm guessed they decided to retire. Yeah think they deserve a break, cuz mum and dad have been seeing them ever since I was in mum's tummy. ;)

Tried the wanton mee. Not bad lah.. Laksa from the old Roxy Theatre quite nice and thick too. Still, the old joy of eating a good bowl of dry prawn mee, together with oh luak, would be lost forever.......

Took a walk to look at the cable ski thing at the lagoon. Quite cool yeah? Just ski round and round and round and round. Studied how the dispatch and retract systems worked. Quite a simple mechanism lah really...

Sad thing is, the only few people using it were mainly ang mohs, with a few locals here and there. Other than that, no one else!! Think this thing is a real white elephant. Where;s the white elephant placards?

While walking back to the carpark, we saw this lone F-16 fighter jet hovering above us slowly, then it fired its boosters suddenly. Mum told me that it could have been a spare jet f0r the NE show at the Nat'l Stadium( you know the ndp for p5 kids?) , just in case some plane screw up, then this jet can take over.

Likewise, we also saw this chinook carrying the Singapore Flag near the CBD skyline. So nice view. Mum also said that they also had 2 chinooks, each with a flag. both would fly together until they reached the National Stadium. Then one would move in, the other just hover outside... Simple back up yeah?

To end of this sat, played bomberman with martin. trashed him like anything man... Haha noob ;p

tired and demoralised

2006-07-14T23:30:00.000+08:00

Dunno lah.. Rather tired and discouraged.. Got back GP compre yesterday... 25.5/50. I thought I could have scored better, cuz I was rather confident while doing the paper. Now reality slowly sinks in, and the truth hurts...

Worse still, stayed back today to play cards, instead of doing up my eigenvector tutorial.. Well ok, granted that it is the end of the week, so relax a bit lah... We played bridge again lor... Sigh my brain wasn't working at all again. I mean, I was blur all the time, not knowing who my partner was, throwing out the trump card at the wrong time, causing my partner to lose, like a stumbling block to others. You can actually see the others doing mental calculations in their heads (esp chork) while they bid and when they play. hmm reminds me of pappy when we play at home.. An incredible mathematical mind, always thinking on the spot and working his brains..

Sigh... Wonder why I don't seem to follow after him, or them? Why is my brain just a sponge? able to absorb stuff and knowledge, that's it. Can't manipulate or THINK. Gosh, so demoralising. The basic function of the brain is to think, and yet I can do nothing except to shun away from it. Anywayz, kept losing all the way. Reminds me of Dick Su in Ready, Steady, Pom Pi Pi... JINXED!!! Even luck also not on my side... Haiz...

I also learnt that I'm a rather truthful person. Tried playing Bluff, but always get caught bluffing. Haiz you can see that Zheng and Chork are seasoned liars.. and can strategise somemore. As for a complete noob like me, with no experience, how to bluff? much less win... :/ Haiz guess its too bad for me that my childhood was just books, study and bo chap-ness. So here I am, suffering the consequences of being the most boring person, unable to use his brain for any purpose etc..

sigh.. tired and demoralised...

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Oh well on a separate note, Peiyi's last minute plan to celebrate Geraldine's farewell pulled off :) Both of us discussed and confirmed it last night. Then there was the quick mad hop-a-bout to inform the GOH and other pple to join us..

So yup they came to church, including Sam and Steph =))) As it was Games night as well, we played badminton, table tennis etc. Great fun. Pastor Yap wsa also there, trying to promote this weekly friday night fellowship kinda thing through sports or something to invite your friends to church and play. Hey his badminton and table tennis quite pro one leh... Wah dun look down on him.... o_O

Taught Megan how to play table tennis too.. Wow she enjoyed it lots. Too bad she's a bit short for the table, else it would have been much easier for her. Played a game with Chris too. A good thing our skills were on par with each other, so we really enjoyed our game.

So when it was time, we asked Pastor Yap to say a prayer for Geraldine and then eat cake. Then we cheerio to each other and balik kampong
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17 Though the fig tree does not bud
and there are no grapes on the vines,
though the olive crop fails
and the fields produce no food,
though there are no sheep in the pen
and no cattle in the stalls,

18 yet I will rejoice in the LORD,
I will be joyful in God my Savior.

19 The Sovereign LORD is my strength;
he makes my feet like the feet of a deer,
he enables me to go on the heights.

- Habukkuk 3:17-19

Deja Vu

2006-07-12T21:45:00.000+08:00

Yesterday was Tuesday. Today is Tuesday. Gosh, got this weird feeling that history likes to repeat itself, too frequently for my liking. 2 Grp B lessons next to each other. And 3 phys tutorials!!! Eeek, grp b and phys overload!!

Actually ah, it has always been occuring this way what, right? Same routine every single week. Life's so mundane. EEeew the thought of having to undergo hard-core mugging for the next 4 months... that's scary enough :s

Oh well, got back phys. Super careless!!! SI unit for Magnetic flux density is TESLA lah!! Still, tyco me got one more mark for Phys, so i went up from 69% to 70%, or in alphabetical terms, from b to A. Yippee!! MY first A in the whole string of common tests!!! Oh got back 9233 on Monday. 60%=> B. hmmm thot i would do better, but well, carelessness.

I've resorted to staying back in skool (almost) everyday to mug, cuz if i go home, I'll SLEEP and SLACK and NOT do any work at all. Worse still, I just re-installed bomberman, so there's another hook of temptation there. Other than dosing for 10min just now, so far so good... Hope I don't go crazy or something ;)

To those going for o-level chi tml, wishing you the very best. Then again, the best is yet to be. No subtitles available yeah?