Chao Keng

I'm kinda screwed screwed screwed... Went running with zheng yesterday and couldn't keep up with him. and he told me that the pace he was running was only sufficient for a pass for ippt...

Haiz win already lor... Running so much, yet still deprove.. Think I keng too much while running ah.. hehe... Nvm still can catch up some other time.

Hmm perhaps that's why I never joined any sports when I was younger, cuz I'm just too slack to train hard. ^.^ Of course, kinda regret it a bit now, cuz I guess the glory of youth is being able to push yourself physically. But hmm everything does come with a price I guess. Like look at our local athletes who played in AYG... Sailors lived on their boats, swimmers swim swim swim.. haha they kept training, sacrificing a lot of other things.

Hmmm wonder what I've been doing thus far to at least make it up in other areas...

Restrictions from the family

Yeah man... just realised that being the family guy is tough. No time to like hang out wif friends. Well my bro is happily doing that, and then scolding me for going to 12th coy camps while missing my grandpa's bday.. wat a hypoc*..

sigh dunno why i'm so angry all of a sudden.. trying to get so much things done at the same time that i have no time for myself.. yeah it's about losing yourself for the sake of God's service.. better to lose the world and save your soul..

but at the rate i'm going, i'm losing the world and losing my soul.. haha i'm the biggest loser..

sheesh so sadistic..

woah you read this???

woah... some pple actually still read this shabby drap.. haha thx thx

anywayz, i currently doing some relief teaching. phew busy busy...

talk more some other time.. after i revamp my blog..

bye for now =)

Back from Bangkok; Off again

Sheesh, been running about the pass few days.. in bangkok of course. Just kept shopping and walking and eating.

Think complimentary hotel breakfast buffet is really a spoiler to visiting the country. Cuz I keep eating a hell lot for breakfast (since its a buffet) and then dun feel like eating for lunch. Miss out on all the great Thai food. Gosh love their sour and spicy stuff. Pity that their portions can be a bit small.

You know, gotta thank God that we were safe. There were like protests yesterday at the Parliament when we were still there, but well, we were busy watching eagle eye and running about having our last dose of steamed bread with coconut custard before leaving. The parliament is indeed some distance away from the pathum wan area. and yeah, life goes on as per normal here. We heard absolutely nothing about any protests whatsoever.

Ignorance is bliss, I guess.

Anyway, onto taiwan we go...

Uncertainties.. Makes me very jumpy

Aiya... hate these uncertainties. Like when you wake up from a good afternoon nap and you see that your hp has a missed call from one of your other superiors who usually is a good archer and just somehow seems to target you only (prob cuz he has your hp number). So you wonder if you should call him back. If you do, then the arrow may be shot. If you don't, you become uncontactable, which may lead to some consequences. Oh well, tried to call my boss back, but he hung up on me, so I guess it ain't impt right now. haha

Then my parents keep pestering me on when I can go overseas with them. Bit hard I say, cuz I don't know if they may schedule me for any last min odd duty or wat... Has happened before, and i don't see why it may not happen again.

Sigh.. Remembered what Pastor Yap told me at cat class yesterday. We're supposed to be warriors in Christ, not worriers. God did say in 1 Peter 5:7 to "Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you." Sheesh worrying so hard unknowingly, and yet there's nothing I can do. Guess my problem is I'm scared of being screwed by upstairs. If I had a little bit of thick skin, then it prob won't be too much of a problem..

Dunno lah... Just very sian and pek chek... haiz.. how many more days left?

Finally.. a hurdle over... now comes the emptiness

Phew.. finally.. ah-tac is over!!! no more late nights making more stupid maps and blown-ups now. haha now I can really smell ord coming... tasting it soon.

Booked my practical lessons already!! Sadly, its only going to start in nov, cuz well, from now till then, everyday is fully booked. crap sia... so sian.. anyway, i'm going auto, rather than manual. Yeah i know, my friends say that auto is for wimps, and real guys drive manual. But hey, think about it, most cars are auto nowsadays, even taxis are getting auto too. Most cars sold in the market today are auto as well. Furthermore, why do you think lta allowed auto cars to be tested? cuz lots of pple made noise to ask for it, cuz its easier to pass right? so yup, why not take the easy way out? petrol's pretty expensive too you know?

So yup, from now till then, its mainly just rotting around. haha there's suddenly so much 'free time'. Finding ways to spend it wisely... like do a lego piece or sth..

you know, if there's really one thing that i wanna do, its to get close to my yr 2s and know them better. i'm glad that I started out with them at the start of the year and have lasted till now. How i slowly see them grow and mature.. haha just like how i see their seniors mature too.. My hope is that each of them will get to know God more and more, for well, there will come a time when they will slip through my fingers. only God can hold them in His hands. And yeah, I love them too, but God loves them more.

Well, if any of you yr 2s happen to see this post, know that both your officers love you guys very very much and are so so happy to have been part of your lives. It has been a joy to see each of you learn to care for one another, to exhort one another.

ok time to go build my lego helicopter already.. haaa

Uncle is older

Yeah the first digit in my age is now 2.. gotta wave goodbye to my teenage years and say hello to adulthood..

celeb part (i)

Heh thanks to all those year 2s and 5s who spammed my hp at midnight... haha thanks lots for remembering, even when you guys were busy mugging.. really made my day, so early in the morning.. =) =) =)

celeb part (ii)

met up with gg to go watch wall-e. haha its a really cute show.. i firmly believe that it will become a disney classic, like mary poppins, toy story and the like.. haha think i'll buy the dvd when it comes out and like keep it for my children to watch it.. doubt they will ever get bored of it.

Ok so after that, zheng played a bit of wild goose chase with us at nydc before meeting up with us ;p... haha had a mushroom ham.. super filling and super guilty, considering that i had a sharwarma and cheese fries for supper last night...

after i came back from drawing money, zheng and gg gave me a cake surprise.. wah super malu sia, but thankfully, not a lot of pple there while we were eating. haha the 'birthday cake' they got was so super cool... some chocolate cake with chocolate ice cream and chocolate chips with hot chocolate fudge.. wah everything chocolate... wee hee!!! high sia...

wonder how much lunch cost in total, but thanks to gg and zheng for picking up the tab... haha thx lots guys.. had a really sweet birthday celebration with you...

celeb part (iii)

after church, gera, joa, nick and i went to pick up dr tee and dr foo.. landed up at j8 swensen's..i had a salmon and mushroon pasta, which was a bit of a disappointment cuz the plate was so big, but the portion was small. oh well, isn't that wat we get nowadays.. gera kept complaining that her pasta looked like vomit and didn't eat much... sheesh.. they got me an ice cream moon cake (oh yeah it was maf coincidentally) and a firehouse (which was free).. so yeah, these were my 'bdae cakes'.. haha..

as though we didn't have enough ice cream, we chiong down to island creamery for another ice cream fix.. had a free scoop to myself (i'm so cheapskate =)), so got a burnt caramel, which didn't have as rich a flavour as the others like nutella or reverso.. the others got nutella, reverso, strawberry sorbet and yoghurt flavours. to top it all, we added some m&m's..  the yoghurt was the only bad choice. haha

think we found ourselves another place for us to chill after stuff like yam... haha

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oh well, today has been a really great day... first time that i've been able to celebrate my bdae with my friends, since my bdae is usually during the exam season, so no one usually has the time to celebrate, esp me.. ;p

God's been so good to me.. yeah... so blessed...

Is it me? Is it someone or something who doesn't like me?

I was supposed to have a long weekend starting from now. But (here's a long..) 

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

suddenly got "stuff to do" right smack in the middle of it... sigh... can't go out with joa, geraldine and nick after bible study... sigh

And I can't meet up with pple on sat, when everyone else is free. I know Sunday is possible, but they have church in the morning and i have church in the afternoon, so somehow, the timings don't gel.

You know, its such an uphill task for me to like maintain my friendships or to like deepen new ones.. there are just so many disruptions to my weekends... I have not had a weekend which is Sat and Sun free, just like that. Free for me to just go out and chill with my pals, etc...

sigh... sad life

Just another (burnt) weekend

Oh well.. what can I say? When they need people, they'll just take you, no questions asked. So you see me burning another Sunday just like that, because they need people. Sigh...

Been really impatient man, trying to rush so many things into the short amount of time I have. Hmmm just too bad I guess, so much things that I wanna do, yet so little time. Heh sometimes I guess I force myself to do too many things at one go... then I get stressed trying to complete my list of stuff to do.

went to witness the CQ people on Sat during the awards ceremony. So we had two teams who got 6th and 11th positions respectively. Yup gold honour roll liao for mr ng. hahA.. but think his high tea will be something pretty cheapo I guess, since we didn't get like top 4 or top 3. ;p

You know, as I set there talking to the Boys, felt kinda weird.. I'm beginning to behave more and more like an adult liao, no more like a young 15 year old, even though I look the age o_O. Sigh where did my youthhood go to? I wanna be a teenager forever...

Procrastinating Change

Alas, my blog has again fallen into another state of disrepair and lack of updating. But hey, only never update for two months what. Thought I haven't updated it for 6 months. haha...

If there's one part of me that must change, its my habit of realising that there are things to be done and I don't do anything about it. Think that's a poor habit if me, cuz a lot of things just get piled up and I get really discouraged having to sieve through the pile of crap I must do that's overdue.

Think even in work, that's the same thing. People pick up the leftover pieces for me, but why can't I do it? Just because I'm in a position of leadership? (well, would you even call it leadership?)

Been thrust with lots of things to consider about myself these days. All those years that I've been training up to be a leader since my time in ac, am I really the leader everyone expects after all those years? Or am I just stuck in my own world, thinking that I am the right leader and everyone else is wrong?

Read this in one of my friends' blog: 

"I believe leadership is an innate trait or rather your affinity for leadership is fixed. Its either you are (or can become) a good leader or you just stink at the whole entire thing. Being stuck in a hierarchical organisation... taught me a lot of things about leadership. And sometimes people who just plain suck are put in positions where they are about as useful as a piece of meat. Sure sure, they can be the most enthusiastic person in the entire world but whats the point if they can’t lead. The worst part is if they are stuck in this distorted, warped reality of theirs that they actually can!"

Been also thinking about what it means to have humility. I searched it up dictionary.com and here are some definitions of it:

• Distrust of one's self or one's own powers; lack of self-reliance; modesty; modest reserve; bashfulness. (taken from Webster's Revised Unabridged Dictionary)
  
• the quality or condition of being humble; modest opinion or estimate of one's own importance, rank, etc (taken from Dictionary.com Unabridged (v 1.1) )
  

Comparing it to this book that I'm reading, entitled Humility (by Andrew Murray), it is 'simply the sense of entire nothingness, which comes when we see how truly God is all, and in which we make way for God to be all.'

Sheesh, to have humility is not an easy thing. sigh..

Think I'm worrying about too many things at a go.. Should take it a step at a time.

ttyl

Social Idiot

I don't know. It seems like my social life (or more of my socialising skill) has been hitting rock bottom recently. You know, I try to find stuff to talk about with other people, but heh, my rather still brain just remains... still. So yeah, can't think of anything to talk about.. so I just remain that quiet idiot out there, aloof and in his own world.

Sigh.. my brain just feels like jelly right now. Guess its cause I've been too lazy to use it. Got time, just slack. Wonder how much of my life has been wasted already...

Sigh, sound so negative. am I really such a negative person?

sigh...

Thoughts of studying

You know, I woke up this morning with a mental list of things I had to prepare for the coming exams. The great thing was chinese was over, so yeah, I could strike it off my list and do some other subject, like maths, or phys. Hmm couldn't remember what other subjects I would have this week, so I'd thought I'd try to find my exam timetable.

When I sat up on my bed, the bitter sweet reality struck me. I'm not in skool already, so no more dreaded exams. On the other hand,oh dear, I'm not any younger.

Gosh,  miss those school days. Days of truly learning something, doing stupid things just because you are young.

Gonna be two decades old soon.

Sigh, how the years fly by without you knowing...

Throw Smoke

"SMOKE!!!!

Smoke Screen Formed!!!"

Sounds familiar huh? Miss those days of training.

Alright, I admit that I've been lazy updating this blog. Then again, not much time these past few days to bother. Not much things happening along the way anyway. (Ok, other than LDC, but no available yet, so i'll wait till I have some photos, then I'll throw them up together with what I can remember about it.

Meanwhile, I just got a new iMac. Heh using it now. Compared to my old ibm laptop, this sure is way... cool. gotta get used to the new key commands and shortcuts though.. anyone know of a good website that teaches pc users how to use a mac?

Oh well, been youtubing quite a bit. Never realised pple out there have made so many cool videos with songs that we know of. Guess i'll be adding a few here now and then.

Oh well, I've gotta go and do some reading. Been working too hard at work, no time to do some jolly good reading.

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Cleanse us

5Young men, in the same way be submissive to those who are older. All of you, clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, because,

"God opposes the proud
but gives grace to the humble."

6Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. 7Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you... ... 10And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast. 11To him be the power for ever and ever. Amen.

~1 Peter 5:1-7, 10-11

Inflation

Sigh.. everything is getting expensive. Eating out used to be a fun pastime for most people i guess. But now, with prices of food soaring, it seems like restaurants are not all that full at meal times. Makes me wonder where the crowd went to...

sheesh i miss the times when a bowl of mee pok was a reasonable $2.50. Now its minimally $3.50 at a normal food court. Heh cheapo restaurants have changed their menu to reflect higher prices, and portions have become smaller.

Sigh, wonder how do families cope with the rising cost of living here. Petrol goes up, food goes up, electricity goes up, everything goes up, except income =( sigh the life that we lead.. We rush rush rush to make a livelihood that may not make ends meet.

Want to have 3 kids next time, but hmmm, is 2 more than enough?

Well, definitely not that many kids. Heh I'd have to work like crazy.

Labour for what?

Hmm some people have noticed my change in attitude towards work in camp. Yeah, now trying to sort of do the bare minimum where possible, due to a change in priorities. Of course, there are other more personal reasons, which I shall not disclose here.

Cohesion yesterday was fun. Heh my bowling really sucks like crap. My pendulum method didn't really strike me of well. Didn't even get a single strike nor spare. Then in comes my buddy at the last frame and he scores a strike! Like wtheck... Oh well, some luck i have... Lol playing futsal with my bosses quite fun also. Woah a lot of them quite pro and on the ball one leh.

Anyway, searching for uni-s again. Now unsure about whether i should just stick with purdue, which is like ranked 64th in the entire world, or go for something better like carnegie mellon? Or just forget the whole US thing and go to imperial?

Prob should ask miss wang about it. Heh she's the wisest when it comes to this.

Oh well, tomorrow is the juniors' cohesion. Been looking forward to it, getting to know everyone of them, some of them for the 1st time, others.. well just knowing them again.

Sigh so out of touch..

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“ If you can’t appreciate [the derivation] then just accept it. As I said, in acceptance there is peace. A lot of things you have to accept. You like the girl, the girl doesn’t like you.

— Ms Wang Juat Yong, during one Vectors lecture this year

Like Little Toddlers

Sigh... Guess home is not the best place to worship. You know, its just like the workplace, so much distractions everywhere. Yeah, even my bed room is too distracting. There's that messy table that I tell myself to clear each time, only to somehow not have the willpower to clear it up in the end. Then there's that bed that lures me to want to sleep, instead of focus on praying.

Then in the office, well, I feel like a little toddler, always wanting to snatch 'things' away from other people. Sigh, guess my dad is right. I'm on the wrong ball man. I should be doing other things that are more worthwhile... Things like praying and seeking. sigh

Heard this from Pastor Yap today:

The Toddler's Rules of Possession
1. If I like it, it’s mine.
2. If it’s in my hand, it’s mine.
3. If I can take it from you, it’s mine.
4. If I had it a little while ago, it’s mine.
5. If it’s mine, it must NEVER appear to be yours in anyway.
6. If I’m doing or building something, all the pieces are mine.
7. If it looks just like mine, it is mine.
8. If I saw it first, it’s mine.
9. If you are playing with something and you put it down, it automatically becomes mine.
10. If it’s broken, it’s yours.

Heh its pretty lame, but isn't it true of us these days?Sigh

Oh well, gotta go now. Face my problems again..

14We know that the law is spiritual; but I am unspiritual, sold as a slave to sin. 15I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. 16And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. 17As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. 18I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. 19For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. 20Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.
21So I find this law at work: When I want to do good, evil is right there with me. 22For in my inner being I delight in God's law; 23but I see another law at work in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within my members. 24What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death? 25Thanks be to God—through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, I myself in my mind am a slave to God's law, but in the sinful nature a slave to the law of sin.

~Romans 7:14-25

Silver and a day off

Yeah... Couldn't believe it myself, but I got my silver for ippt today.



Seriously, never expected myself to jump 221cm on the first try. I was like.. WOAH!!! Cuz I still remember last time in bmt and sispec, i jump like only 200cm one. Really sian one..



Oh well, I got my silver, and my one day off. yippee..

GOD IS GOOD ALL THE TIME

Chorus:
God is good all the time
He put a song of praise
In this heart of mine
God is good all the time
Through the darkest night
His light will shine
God is good
God is good all the time

If you're walking through the valley
There are shadows all around
Do no fear He will guide you
He will keep you safe and sound
He has promised to never leave you
Nor forsake you
And His Word is true

Chorus

We were sinners so unworthy
Still for us He chose to die
He filled us with His Holy Spirit
Now we can stand and testify
That His love is everlasting
And His mercies they will never end

Chorus

Though I may not understand
All the plans You have for me
My life is in Your hands
And through the eyes of faith
I can clearly see

Chorus

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P.S: Today's Earth Day. So Happy Earth Day. LOL

Song of the Moment

Verse 1
As we worship You,
let all the world come and see
How the mercy we received from You
can set them free
As we worship You, let all this joy that fills our hearts
Bring a hunger and a hope
to those who strayed so far

Chorus
As we bow in adoration and stand in reverent awe
Show Your majesty and glory, let Your anointing fall
As we declare Your name Lord Jesus
as the only name who saves
May the power of Your salvation
fill each heart we pray

Verse 2
As we worship You,
let all the nations hear our song
Song of Jesus and His blood that proved His love for all
As we worship You, may all the lost and broken come
May they hear Your still small voice
call out their names each one


Chorus
As we bow in adoration and stand in reverent awe
Show Your majesty and glory, let Your anointing fall
As we declare Your name Lord Jesus
as the only name who saves
May the power of Your salvation
fill each heart we pray

As we worship You, as we worship You
As we worship You, as we worship You
As we worship You

de-stress???

Do these facial exercises every two hours
It is good for stress-relief !

Wow what a way to destress..